Inverse Crescent. You are drawn by a gradually increasing force towards MC. The measurement of the force (which we will call "Pull") is basically -LV, but it does not increase at a uniform rate. This is probably due to quantum. (The technical specialists among us can expand on this.) Periodic announcements on the current level of Pull will be made by Mission Control. The aim is to resist the increasing attraction to MC as long as possible. The higher your LV away from MC, the longer you can resist, but if your LV becomes greater than 186,000, then you break free of Pull altogether and spin off into outer wotsit, ending up god knows where. The first person to arrive at MC, obviously, loses the game.
SRB's jettisoned approaching Chalk Farm. LV 3,552 and rising more quickly than expected, but still within nominal limits. Mission Control, your communications are suffering interference but I will wave at the border of Zone 5 as instructed.
No, wait! Don't do anything! That wasn't us - at least it was us, but we didn't just post that bulletin. Pull has been measured at -1,498.34. A quantum singularity appears to have opened up over Finchley Road. Could it be that the message came from........the future? Today's special is Pork Chops. That is.....all, we think.