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So the Danish guy dies
help
Well, we've all seen those promising trailers that make the worst films seem like the next Oscar winner - how about writing a description that makes a classic sound absolutely dire? e.g. So there's this teenager and he hates his mother and his stepdad and there's loads of drugs and gore and they all die. Only better, hopefully. And without Mel Gibson.
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Jack and the Beanstalk... er... the movie
The hero, a failure, steals from, then murders a successful sky-dweller, motivated entirely by envy and sizeist prejudice.
Cinderella
Typical rags-to-riches plot, weakened by the unbeleivable glass slipper episode.
Superman
Incredibly, the entire movie contains not one single reference to Nietzsche.
Spaceballs
"Let's do Star Wars, with jokes! Or perhaps not."
The Merchant of Venice
Jews are bad. Transvestives are good. Meddling dead people know what's best for you.
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
The movie begins when the earth blows up, this is found to be insignificant.(I know that the movie is not out yet but hey)
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV version)
The plot is of the radio series is chopped up, rearranged and generally screwed around with. This is also found to be insignificant.
The Taming of the Shrew
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes!
Yes!
Danny the Champion of the World
His father is a petty thief, and he learns petty theivery from him. No-one dies.
Citizen Cane
Rosebud was his sled.
Polar Express
Turn off, tune out, stop thinking and believe.
Indigo
Turn off, tune out, stop thinking and believe.
What The Bleep
Turn off, tune out, stop thinking and believe.
Koyaanisqatsi
An exultant celebration of the peak of Western civilisation.
Mary Poppins
The singing nanny demonstrates a deft touch for childcare and gets off with the chimney-sweep.
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