arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Obligatory Limericks Game
help
When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
arrow_circle_up
That the hand nicely fits
you'll drive any female berserk. (Uncle K) Birkenhead - Wirral, squirrel. :-)
A microwave oven will cook
An elk, a badger, or rook
But if you try bison .. oh dear - more animal cruelty. See Orange - NB. not for the squeamish
or even Mike Tyson
It could get quite ugly - don't look!
The loveliest boy in the school
Is usually gay, as a rule Squirrel and Wirral don't rhyme to me!
You can tell by his satchel
He hangs out with Tatchell (thanks for the feed, Chalky)
He's as gay as a damsel Oh, dear, Chalks, another duff rhyming word
Bugger simulpost
At Eton, being camp is thought cool might as well get this over with.
Never mind, Softers. Rest assured, I would never post anything that didn't have a rhyme - but in this case, there was really only the one which rab picked up. Now for linesperson duty ...
When simulposted, I just stare
At a line which ain't meant to be there
My brilliance is wasted!
My genius untasted!
And my fine words are all rendered spare.
While studying a map of Belgrade
On my yacht (for I'm rather well paid)
There's a gaping big hole
the size of a goal
at the place where explosives are made.
There once was a house on a hill
Just Checked, it's up there still
Oh dear. It's turned Tartan
And I'd so set my heart on (unfinished sentence alert)
Grey pinstripes made out of fine twill. ... It seemed lonely sitting here for days without a finale.
Well there I was, wondering if anyone would bother finishing it off and up you pop ... with, if I may say, a very elegant last line. Bravo.
I went to the tailor's this morning
(Quite early - just as the day's dawning)
"Which way do you dress?" [well done, Duj]
, he enquired. In distress,
"With just simply the suit I was born in."
It's high time you told me the truth
without being rude and uncouth
"well, its like this"
"I want you to kiss"
And to what she said next I said "STREWTH!"
My sins now I wish to confess
I admit I like wearing a dress
But so what? I'm a girl
not some poncy old earl (Projoy) Are you, in fact? I'm not, BTW.
Though I've often been called 'My Princess'
Durn it, forgot the bold!
All conferrences over, thank God
With IDS left on his todd
His politics should be dangling sentence alert
cast into the sea
and consumed by ravenous cod.
Forgot the underline. Here goes.
[Rosie] Is that Newcastle Underline?

The secret to being a man

Was mislaid in the back of a van
it's hormones, you see The last time I was mislaid in the back of a van.........;-)
Causing trouble for me
and the poor sod who has no idea how to make this last line scan. (Thos) No, actually it was Ashton Underline. Sorry!
Bugger! Done it again.
Summer comes with the much warmer weather
And the crack of bare willow on leather.
By "leather," I mean
my pants, Josephine
When I'm fastened to you by a tether
Rosie/pen - oh-ho! It looked so innocuous until it got that far!
The trouble with wasting one's time
Over looking around for a rhyme
Is that some are so tricky
That you can't be too picky
and ridiculous displaces sublime. Alas!
I seem to be finishing an awful lot of these, maybe because I go to bed rather late and don't really do mornings. The joys of retirement! It's not one o'clock yet so maybe some night owl can start one.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord