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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Alighting the train in Pristina
I met a cute girl called Christina
She was going my way
(and we did have all day)
But all she would drink was Ribena
The best way to piss off a rhino
Is to tweak him and call him a wino
Then pull down your pants
Do the St Vitus dance
Mind the horn, though 'cos it can be final! (employing "Cockney Cheeky Chappy" convention)
While out in the bush, hunting dik-dik,
I ran from a snake, very quik-quik
However, the beetle
Though not eating meat'll
Still make a bloke feel quite sick-sick.
Let's all go and moon David Blaineyarr..
Yes! We could meet up on the train! Arrr!!
We'll stand in a line Avast! what a sight we be! Yarrr!
And drink buckets of Wine
And drop all our pants in the rain
[Sorry to hog two lines, but I have to know...]
Will somebody kindly explain
The point of this tit, David Blaine
Is it just show biz
Does anyone know? Is
It worth bringing him up again?
If you swallowed him bring him up quick!
He'll be right if you make yourself sick!
Your face went quite red
At the mention of Fred
Have you eaten him too, you great prick? - I'll be needing that coat after all.
Well, now that I've broken my wrist - and will be in agonising pain for the next 4-6 weeks thanks to some idjit learner driver...
You'll be spared the caress of my fist[MF] Commiserations. Sue!
And the way that I pass
my hand over your ass sorrysorrysorry - I don't know what's come over my this morning ...
To fondle your sebaceous cyst - yughk ! [pen] Don't call Martha, Sue, he doesn't like it.
I hate that I've become a mute I've still got no voice!
But still I am sexy and cute
The sight of my curves
And my shimmying swerves
Is sweeter than the sound of a lute.
[D, UK, R & Bm] dead right too :o)
Discovered "in flagrant delight",
I am on display every night
Flagrante delicto
With my fragrant big toe
Who says such a thing can't be right?
I've recorded my thoughts onto tape
on the music from "The Great Escape"
This suicide note
I leave in your coat
as you seem to have mislaid your cape
Come workers, and throw off your chains!
Let's go, and destroy all the trains!
Our bold insurrection
Means we'll miss our connection
And we we'll wait for three hours at Staines
When you find yourself gasping for air
And no-one around seems to care
Take a deep mental breath
be prepared for your death
And kiss farewell to your derriere oblig.
Let's all go out with a bang
And a zoom and a whizz and a clang
For with any luck
We'll hit more than a duck
And the rest of the world can go hang!
It was twenty years ago today
Sgt.Pepper thought Lennon was gay
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