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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Uncle Korky
just leave it to your electrician
penelope
Garden sparrows, wrens, finches and tits
Raak
Can all be assembled from kits
snorgle
Using small bits of wire
Big Dave
And an old rubber tyre
Darren
And a car engine, taken to bits.
CdM
The beauty of avian construction
Raak
Is the match of its form to its function
Big Dave
You must get this right
penelope
For the things to take flight
Uncle Korky
Lest they plummet on down to destruction.
PaulWay
The terrible thing about crows
Uncle Korky
Is that I've got three stuck up my nose
Darren
They peck at my eyes
rab
Unbutton my flies
blamelewis
and crap all over my toes
Breadmaster
My budgie looks terribly strange
Darren
I think it's got some sort of mange
snorgle
It's purple and green
Ryan
It's lost all its sheen
Uncle Korky
And it's singing "
Oh, Home on the Range
"
Chalky
To make sense of the birds and the bees
Wol
one must crawl on one's hands and one's knees
Darren
And look for a clue
rab
About what to do
gil
Re. the mating behaviour of fleas
Kim
In Ottawa, during the blackout,
(Just got back)
blamelewis
I got my adventuring pack out
[UK] Love the last line of the budgie one.
Raak
My Leatherman tool
snorgle
My good old slide rule
Software
And a Packet of three (just about) My good old slide rule
Wichita Lineman
Chalky
It was just as the night turned to dawn
Big Dave
When I decided to blow on my horn
Raak
I woke up the neighbours
penelope
By tossing them cabers
Thos
I sell it as DIY porn
snorgle
A spider just ran up my leg
just to creep
certain
people out..:)
penelope
And left, in my knickers, an egg
(there are certain recurring themes here...)
Chalky
For warm incubating
. . . assuming the knickers are warm
Darren
And the chance of creating
Software
Thousands of spiders - oh smeg!
Raak
A wasp laid its eggs in my foot
blamelewis
Then stung me, the ungrateful brute
What is this? David Cronenberg Limerick hour? yeuugh...
Raak
[blamelewis] I'll spare you "There are maggots infesting my brain" then.
Darren
Its progeny hatched
- Does Software not know about the magic of the >b< tag?
Darren
>b< even.
Darren
I give up.
Chalky
and were swiftly despatched
. . . having problems Darren? hehehe.
Big Dave
By a blow to the head from my boot
- How about the magic <b> tag, Darren? - I find it works better :)
Martha Farquar
With killer bugs eating my face,
Raak
I sprayed myself well with some Mace
Boolbar
Then to cut out the pain
CdM
I cut out my brain
Chalky
And replaced it with Chantilly lace
. . . like you do :-)
Kim
Thus spake Zarathrustra (to me):
Martha Farquar
"It's lovely to be a Parsee"
Breadmaster
For when you are dead
Chalky
You get breakfast in bed
Uncle Korky
and in mid-afternoon, you get tea.
Breadmaster
"Ecce homo!" he cried to the crowd
Thos
"How dare you?" I replied aloud
Darren
He said, "Ooh get her!"
Big Dave
Then his fists were a blur
Chalky
Thus to prove his manhood and stand proud.
Uncle Korky
With a deafening cry of "
Eureka!
"
Breadmaster
Duncan Smith took a swing at the Speaker.
Kim
He took up the Mace
Chalky
Wiped the egg off his face
Darren
And became the Commons' first streaker.
penelope
I've run up a slate at the bar
Rosie
As a Silk this is just about par.
Martha Farquar
Then I ran down a bike,
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