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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Leaves me no time to care about you
No matter that your
Foot's nailed to the floor
And you're bursting to go to the loo
A shortlist of people to see
Is something I'll write you for free
And if you've got time
You can see some of mine
And we'll all have each other to tea.
The business of catching a bat
Requires that you wear a top hat
On its rim a mesh net
And, to hand, a good vet
In case there's an unseemly splat
With a 'Yay', a 'Hurrah' and 'Yippee'
I've discovered philately G & S invoked
My stamps from Botswana
New Guinea and Ghana
Show naked boobies that swings free! [Rosie] We didn’t know you were a philatelist...
A booby who swings on a rope [Marc] Oh yes, philately will get you everywhere.
Will likely not end up as pope
But nevertheless may (Marc) I'm not. I just like tits.
Unless he's not gay? [Rosie] Remarkably so do I, my glasses get misty whenever I spot a pair of good-looking tits! (   )(   )
Jesus, Marc, can you not give it a break? It's the same 'joke' over and over again, which, if you're not already aware, makes you sound like a stupid and dirty old man. Please let me know if you're going to the pilg, for that's one I will take pains to avoid.
Become vicar of Stanford-Le-Hope. Or something. (Marc) You're obviously a tit man, or should I say "You're obviously a tit, man".
There once was a prudish old virgin [pen]that note was for Rosie only, hope he don't mind you reading it. See you at the pilg! [Rosie] Same to you, old man!
Who preached celibacy to spawn sturgeon
She took twenty years
And shed many tears
To make sure the eggs were emergin' OK- that's rid us of this nonsense ... onwards and upwards ...
There once lived a preacher called Vic
His message "Beware of Old Nick" This is more like it. Nice piece of disposal, Chalks.
He delivered his sermon - [Chalky] I feel minoritised. Us Geordies don't consider "years" and "tears" as rhyming. But then, we are daft as a brush :-)
And his parish, all German ..hmm, Multiple Lines Per Player, interesting concept....
Verschwunden im einem Augenblick I had to... anyone with a better line in english is welcome to interrupt.
I'm impressed with a) Knobbly's line, and b) babelfish's translation. Meanwhile, here's a line
While taking a sojourn in Spain
A vagabond purloined my brain
Those tacos with wine
And cod soaked in brine
Have caused me abdominal pain.
The ferry chugs over the channel
The sea is a glum shade of anil
The oil slicks are slimy
The low clouds are grimy
Can somebody please fetch a flannel?
"Bespoke", when applied to a tailor
Means 'promoted through a loud hailer'
But the phrase "off the peg"
Means that one's inside leg
Must be saved from Vlad the Impaler
The ferries of Bute and Dunoon
Have opened a route to the Moon
The journey is long
And starts in Hong Kong
(Connecting train from Kowloon).
I think, on a night so pristine,
Our thoughts should be with our dear Queen
Whose mammoth carouses (Tho' enjoyed by both Houses) Are frightfully hard to keep clean...
(Tho' enjoyed by both Houses..)
[Sticky] We like to stick to one line each in general in this game, though fair enough to you for tripping your tongue around that one.
The perils of being a monk
Are more than just living sans-bonk
Much harder by far
Than feathers and tar
Administered when one gets drunk
If ever you yearn to break free
And sail to Trincomalee
Take an old Galway hooker
Some distilled Sambuca
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