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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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But freight on the rail
Arrives on the nail
- Allows you to stay home and sup
Your lips are as shiny as honey
But don't make for me any money
So go on the game
But assume a false name
I swear I'll be proud of you, sonny.
In Canada, dollars and dimes
Are slang for the tariffs for crimes
Sow your oats and do porridge
Only eat what you forage
And gamble the proceeds betimes [SMith] That was SUCH a funny last line :-)
It's time for 'objectives' and 'plans'
Writ in Powerpoint with Comic Sans
With sliding transitions
Of your fiscal ambitions
Or you'll find yourselves driving white vans.
"The better to see you with, dear,"
"My, my! You've a wonderful rear"
"The left half is quite..."
"....neat, unlike the right"
"I’ll just take a lick, have no fear!"
"Dear Gram, why your ears are so hairy"?
"Because I'm a lycanthrope, deary."
"So I'm one as well?"
"Yes, you'll go to hell."
And that was the end (well, in theory).
A long list of things I must do
Leaves me no time to care about you
No matter that your
Foot's nailed to the floor
And you're bursting to go to the loo
A shortlist of people to see
Is something I'll write you for free
And if you've got time
You can see some of mine
And we'll all have each other to tea.
The business of catching a bat
Requires that you wear a top hat
On its rim a mesh net
And, to hand, a good vet
In case there's an unseemly splat
With a 'Yay', a 'Hurrah' and 'Yippee'
I've discovered philately G & S invoked
My stamps from Botswana
New Guinea and Ghana
Show naked boobies that swings free! [Rosie] We didn’t know you were a philatelist...
A booby who swings on a rope [Marc] Oh yes, philately will get you everywhere.
Will likely not end up as pope
But nevertheless may (Marc) I'm not. I just like tits.
Unless he's not gay? [Rosie] Remarkably so do I, my glasses get misty whenever I spot a pair of good-looking tits! (   )(   )
Jesus, Marc, can you not give it a break? It's the same 'joke' over and over again, which, if you're not already aware, makes you sound like a stupid and dirty old man. Please let me know if you're going to the pilg, for that's one I will take pains to avoid.
Become vicar of Stanford-Le-Hope. Or something. (Marc) You're obviously a tit man, or should I say "You're obviously a tit, man".
There once was a prudish old virgin [pen]that note was for Rosie only, hope he don't mind you reading it. See you at the pilg! [Rosie] Same to you, old man!
Who preached celibacy to spawn sturgeon
She took twenty years
And shed many tears
To make sure the eggs were emergin' OK- that's rid us of this nonsense ... onwards and upwards ...
There once lived a preacher called Vic
His message "Beware of Old Nick" This is more like it. Nice piece of disposal, Chalks.
He delivered his sermon - [Chalky] I feel minoritised. Us Geordies don't consider "years" and "tears" as rhyming. But then, we are daft as a brush :-)
And his parish, all German ..hmm, Multiple Lines Per Player, interesting concept....
Verschwunden im einem Augenblick I had to... anyone with a better line in english is welcome to interrupt.
I'm impressed with a) Knobbly's line, and b) babelfish's translation. Meanwhile, here's a line
While taking a sojourn in Spain
A vagabond purloined my brain
Those tacos with wine
And cod soaked in brine
Have caused me abdominal pain.
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