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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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With no worldly goods but a bucket
At the bottom of which
Lay a kitten, named Titch,
People gaped at how far he could chuck it.
Do I win £5 for not finishing with "f*ck it"?
*splutters tea into her keypad*
While wand'ring around B & Q (ISP) Only if you can prove that you would not have used that asterisk.
I searched high and low for a screw
Just one, on its own
Or two-- one to loan--
But multipacks is all that they do. Bloody irritating. In the old days, one could go to the local ironmonger, but they have all gone to the wall. Grumble, moan.....
I grumble and moan and complain
That my wife is the cause of my pain
But her skill at defining
My incessant whining
Is proof that she has half a brain
Half a brain is better than none
Why just ask a zombie, my son
Why not ask Tony Blair
He's the brain of a hare
And Mad Hatter all rolled into one
“Hey you, please get up and get dressed,”
Called chef to a bare turkey breast
But the breast did not answer
The culinary chancer
Who was mad, as you may well have guessed. . . . weird . . .
"Oh Gwendolyn please get my helmet,"
I said as I painted the pelmet good luck...
And read from Wyrd Sisters
While piercing my blisters This is really stupid - someone put it out of its misery, please!
Where my heels and my shoes had just met Now moving swiftly on...
I stay in the poshest hotels
With the Bishop of Bath and of Wells
We share a hot tub [Chalky] In my defence, I invoked Wyrd Sisters only because it pointed to the only other rhyme for "helmet" I could think of (Duke Felmet).
Eat room service grub- [PJ] Not you, m'dear - it was yet another opening line in speech marks I was railing against :-)
And play Beatles songs on our handbells.
The Bishop has got a big dong
It's not nearly so wide as it's long
When he puts it on show
The sharp end does glow
And choirboys keep singing their song... Oh Gwendolyn please get my helmet, I said as we swung from the pelmet, And while we’re up here, I’ll lay you my dear, And use my baldhead if you’re unmet….
The sign in the window: "A vendre"
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord