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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Caressing my neck-hairs she said:
"I really wish you were dead"
"So I could shag your corpse" [rhyming challenge]
From here to Cleethorpes
(imagine inverted commas suitably arranged)
But I'll settle for Grimsby instead"
I'm counting the ways that I love
Each finger's own place in a glove
Though it's with mittens I'm smitten
Thus I've written the worst love poems in Britain when in Rome...
With my middle finger raised high above ... don't do as the other nuts do!
There once will be peace in this valley,
And soon we were counting the tally
Of those now departed time space continuum r us
As off they are carted Lucky them . . . .
to Bristol, to rot in an alley or dropped from an overhang onto a passing garbage scow
The prodigal son doth return
With a listhp and bad cathe of thun burn I don't know any more than anybody else, okay!
The fatted calf lows
Snicker-snack! So it goes
For his sound effects CD we yearn
A cat in a hat once said,
"Please get this daft thing off my head open quote alert
Or I'll crap on your chair
Cough up balls of my hair
And put mice and dead birds in your bed"
A School Bus Driver once said
"This bus driving won't keep me fed"
So he nicks all the sweeties
Contracts diabeeties
And from hypoglycaemia's'dead a grim tale for anyone thinking about stealing confectionery
I like stealing candy from kids
Except little Suzy McLids
'Cause her's is all covered
with drool, where she's hovered
And will transmit diseases like SIDS
I act as the spoke in the wheel
with lots of bananas to peel,
I'm a fruit addict, see?
No scurvy knave, me
As I prepare my vitamin meal
There once was a Lady so lewd,
That even the Essex Men booed
For when she disrobed
With her fingers she probed - I can feel a coat requirement coming on.
And outdid the goatse.cx man for good. Yes, it's a URL. No, you don't want to see it. NSA (Not Safe Anywhere).
At the times when I haven't a clue
I tend to join hands with a gnu [I'm clearly certifiable]
We smear the vast veldt
With wildebeest smelt
Then go for some females to screw (Bestial behavior amongst all those animals...)
I'm sure to enjoy Lanzarote
I've heard it's not rainy or grotty
But instead, clean and sunny
Good value for money,
Two bottles of wine for a zloty
For free you'll get crabs at the loo [sim]potty
You can boil them in lye to make glue
And should you be "loose"
Feel free to make use
Of the paper. Use one square, not two.
Each night we'll swim (nude) in the pool
Please join us ...I guarantee you'll
have fun and get wet,
Which is not all you'll get
When we swim, (nude) in the pool.
And should we decide to get dressed
The bishop will have us all blessed
Our midnight baptism
May well cause a schism
If Janet exposes her breast
Janet was always an odd sort
Aroused by the chance she'd get caught
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord