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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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I've acquired a malaise in my spleen
At red-amber I felt
My testicles melt
So please do not ask if I've "been"
I've "been" and I'm now "feeling lighter" This is disgraceful stuff. Terrible.
Yet my pants strangely seem a bit tighter
And strangely much wetter [Chalky] How do you know about testicles?
As my bits they do fetter
Could my underpants be any shite-er? No-one else could have done it with so much sweetness and panache. But I'm sorry anyway, and I'll get my coat.
When recently showered and fragrant [Darren] eeh lad ... I've melted a few in my time :-) [pen] stick around - we need you for this one ...
I jumped on an elderly vagrant
We made passionate love
While the pigeons above
Doled out the lubricating a-gent. almost rhymes...anyway it made me smirkle
Ahhh, we raise our game and lower our tone - can't be coincidence!
Stand back! I'm about to erupt!
In a manner both loud and abrupt!
There's nowt you can do
I'll explode right on cue
Unless you bribe me (I'm corrupt)
In New Jersey, New York and New Delhi
You see all the same things on the telly
For Sesame Street
Or the Kumar's we meet
But not the beach webcam, Pwllheli.
And those 'Stars' with that tw*t Matthew Kelly. sorrysorrysorry - no, not really.
Well, dash it - simulled.
They think they have 'Stars in their Eyes'
Which flew down from the vault of the skies
If only they knew
They're just specks of poo
And the promise of fame is all lies.
My handbag's possessed by a demon
Actually, forget that. Not very rhymable.
Copernicus brought down the Earth
To a much more acceptable girth
He then set about
To prove without doubt
what heliocentricity's worth. (Projoy) Your HAND-BAAAG??
Father Christmas has multiple forms
But one nature, to which they all conform
And on Christmas Eve
(so they'd have us believe)
A fat 'Ho-ho-Ho' is the norm
The Geese are getting quite fat Do you want stuffing?
I don't really care for all that Get Stuffed! yourself...
Succulent marinaise I'll have potatoes wit that if you don' mind!
On these festive days
Is best served alongside your cat
I looked in the mirror; it cracked
You'd think it'd've shown more tact
But an ugly boat-race
Has rowed over my face
In a mutual suicide pact
With Thomas and Richard and Harry
Lay Dierdrie and Senga and Carrie
They'd all lost a bet
as to whether they'd get
Themselves out of a duty to marry
The motion of trees in the night
Without wind, is a worrying sight
The dryads will walk
The Triffids will talk
Our lives the spirits will blight
Play chess on the roof of your shack
Your imagin'ry friend can play black
So if he says 'mate'
You can nail in a slate
And if he says 'check,' shoot his back
I sense an impending disaster
And so I have brought a small plaster
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord