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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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The cause of my facial contusion
Is a thin air and plate glass confusion
The one is ethereal
The other's material
And my face, their media for fusion.
A good dump of snow in the morning
Is a reason to stay in bed yawning
'Cos all the damn schools
Will be closed; safety rules The little buggers might get COLD!
Must all be obeyed. That's a warning.
This comedy mask doesn't fit
In places it pinches a bit
And it's not really funny
To look like a bunny
Who's crouching and ready to... spit
Open season on pantomime dames
John Inman's been shot down in flames
Dale Winton's in panic
Frank Bruno's just ... manic
But don't mess with Botham; he maims. . . . rather unfair to him, actually, but this has been hanging around for a few days now.
This feels just the winter for cricket
I think I'll be keeping the wicket
But bowling on ice
Is not very nice
To penguins; take your ball and stick'et.
There once was a svelte young brunette
Who was smuggled aboard a corvette
The boot was too small - what's a corvette?
Though she curled in a ball - [Chalky] Er, it's a small ship, so unlikely to have a boot really, but we'll pretend we're talking about a Corvette Stingray shall we ? ;-)
A position she called cul-à-tête
My new sailing ship has a boot :-D
I'm a Corsair so I'll fill it with loot while on the boat/car bifircation...
An act of no Merit That's my rough little Corsa.
Like slipping a ferret
Down a gentleman's whistle-and-flute
When a bear does his job in the wood
(Proverbially, just as it should)
The mice in the grass
Start nibbling his arse
With hindsight they'd've run if they could. [a bit dull sorry - anything to get things moving again ...]
The cause of this sorry affair
So foul that I do not dare
To mention the fact
I have nada for tact
So I'll tell the whole world, I don't care
I've managed, without interference,
Ahem
I've managed, without interference,
To alter my husband's appearance
He's now eight feet tall
But has only one ball sorrysorrysorry
And that needs a sixteen-inch clearance - oooh - what a monster I've created
For those with testicular gigantism . . . there ought to be a few rhymes, and if not, well, bollocks.
(Barring the mono or double schism) Mmmm, yes, that could work, subject to the scansion police
It's wise, I suspect, throwing caution to the wind...
To join the new sect
Baptised by immersion in... (No, I can't bring myself to type it.)
It takes just a moment to find [Raak] admirable restraint, sir,
That an orange tastes better "sans rind";
But if you chew the pips
Take this wisest of tips Pompous, moi?
- just don't take the pith: 'tis unkind.
A river of buttons doth flow
To a land where the cuffs dare not go - I smell realism here...
Lest they cover my watch (Projoy) You're mad. :-)
(An extravagant Swatch™)
Where they've all come from, I don't know
There was a young chap from Slovakia
Whose verse, beside ours, was much tackia
His scansion was iffy
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