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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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It puts all its rivals int' shade
Pink piggies are playing in pens
On a piggery deep in the Fens
They wallow in muck (Could I just mention that the cuckoo clock is in fact a Bavarian invention and not a Swiss one. It's a popular misconception that Mrs Kim (who is Swiss) has asked me to clear up.)
But don't give a f**k appologies in advance ;-)
Until Jamie Oliver attends.
The knockings that come from my car
Have a cause which is somewhat bizarre
There's a mouse in the shaft
Woodworm, fore and aft
And the ghost of a dead Russian Tsar
One day, spurred on by a bet
I spent a whole day as a vet
Castrations and Neut'ring
Ligations and suturing
Paid off my credit card debt
If ever in need of some money very nice that last one
Keep bees and sell epicure honey
You'll feel more alive
May your apiary thrive
And your life always be sunny
A stack of six waffles is here
But at ten pounds apiece, they're quite dear.
Perhaps they're organic
Or alleviate panic
Which I'd like, as I'm wracked with fear
Darren's now got wafflophilia
Armed wit fork and syrup he'll (-khilia) *[pronunciated]*
But just say "Hang on!"
"Don't bend that fork prong"
"Stop waffling and just take this pill'ere"
What an outrageous colour is puce
It seems to be quite without use
Apart from on bras
(It looks awful on cars)
A colour old Morris Marinas abuse
The pleasure I get from a duck
Fades to nought next to that from a buck
But, as for a runt
which gets killed by the hunt (Projoy, Botherer) Further details, please . . .
It gets proned cross the hood of my truck [best way to bring the game home]
I think I've forgotten to mention
I suffer from hyper-tension
[SW] can you nick one of the spare syllables from your previous entry and put it in the line above? That's twice today. I'm laughing, honest ! :-D
'old hyper-tension'? Hmm. Whassat then?
The blood in my veins
Makes them stand out like canes
And my prick's of outrageous dimension.
Chalky doth laugh like a drain [Chalks] Glad to be able stimulate you tickle buds, especially on your 'tough day' (Orange). However, in my accent, the last entry scanned ok, the previous one, however, would have been better without the 'old', but it is a necessary qualifier for Marinas. They were old when they first appeared at the motor show.
Her giggles she cannot restrain [Software] Done it again, I think. Needs something at the front to scan properly. How about "Yon"?
My sides are just splitting (Rosie)Further details,please...
She's had to stop knitting Hope that isn't libellous.
whilst from laughing she tried to refrain
The Welsh have the gift of the gab (Softers, Kim) Can't read your comments; something odd about the font because Chalky's and pen's comments in the previous limerick are quite clear despite being small. Is there a fix for this?
And their accent is quite far from drab [Rosie] Have you tried increasing the text size in the browser?
But their fondness for L's
And wet, sheepy smells
Means most now go into rehab.
The software I have in my bum
(er, not a reference to you, Softers)
Tells me when I should empty my tum
It frequently starts
With preliminary farts [Pro] No offence taken :-)
And some 'agricultural' hum oblig.
Blue cakes dead ahead! 12 o' clock!
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