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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Rosie
Will have none of that
penelope
He likes puddings or something quite sweetie
Projoy
Spend time in an oxygen tent
Wol
Wear boots that are cast in cement
Wol
Read that one in
bold
...
Rosie
This new form of training
Software
Is physically draining
penelope
My aerobic credits are spent!
Rosie
The EU's not sure about Turkey
Phil
Its past seems decidedly murky
Software
Its Ottoman roots
penelope
Are as rank as old boots
Projoy
Though its branches are looking quite perky
irach
There once was a lad in Istanbul
penelop!e
[irach] Give us a chance! Can't you call it Constantinople just this once?
Rosie
(pen) Hear, hear. Doesn't scan, either.
Raak
I suggest amending it to:
There once was a lad in Stamboul
jim
Who went into town,'on the pull'
penelope
oops
Rosie
It could not be said
Knibbly
He was right in the head
Chalky
'Coz his technique was verging on cruel
... sorry - that was getting-rid-of-sad-limerick effort. Let's draw a line eh?
Chalky
Don't force me to drink too much punch
Phil
I've not even had any lunch
Rosie
But when I have eaten
Raak
Then I won't be beaten
Software
So get out my way you sad bunch
No, really, yous are my besht pals ever.
Kim
(Hic!)
I really do love you, you know
Huxley
(stifled belch)
At least 'til dawn tomorrow
Projoy
For it's only at night
jim
That I'm sweetness and light
Rosie
and a function-ing libi-do.
Projoy
Zippedy Doo Dah, Oh My!
Tuj
Who'd have guessed elephants could just fly?
Rosie
And toads sing The Messiah
jim
p****d as newts, in a choir
Darren
It's all very nice, Walt, but why?
Rosie
And now let us praise margarine
. . .lovely girl . . .
nfras
With its buttery taste and nice sheen
Software
But it's stuffed full of E's
Chalky
So unlikely to please
-
[Darren] v good :-)
Projoy
Nutritionists, Cows or the Queen
(who is eating it in the parlour with her bread and honey)
Projoy
Decorum et dulce it est
Darren
Of my old school Latin, the best
Software
But quo vadis, pray?
Chalky
Vade in pace
Rosie
Sed non sequitur you'll be blessed.
Projoy
Elizabeth Violet Bott
Chalky
Was rather a fine polyglot
Software
Tho' she spoke with a lithp
Dandalf
Her diction was crithp
jim
And for William she had a thoft thpot
Rosie
(Projoy) It was Violet Elizabeth Bott. (I've read the books). So I'm going to thtamp my foot and thkweam and thkweam until I'm
thick.
Tuj
Vi
o
let Elizabeth Bott
oblig
Rosie
Some Mums do 'ave 'em, what?
Software
A truculent child
Projoy
Not meek, still less mild
[Rosie] Oops. So it was. I read most of 'em too in my youth so should have recalled that. I think I must have just mentally transposed the names for the sake of slightly neater scansion.
Chalky
Except after smoking some pot.
Tuj
So, let's "big it up" for the Swiss!
Chalky
And take the proverbial piss
Rosie
Their fraudulent bankers
. . . careful . . .
Projoy
And Swiss naval tankers
Darren
And cuckoo clocks all score a miss
Darren
The Swiss Army Knife's greatest blade
Projoy
Pulls hooves from the stones in a glade
penelope
And should you need slices
Rosie
As you may, in a crisis,
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