arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Obligatory Limericks Game
help
When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
arrow_circle_up
Though he's strong as an ox
And he wears mismatched socks
And never been on Panorama. Be grateful for small mercies.
On Sunday my brother was wed [I got to give a toast!]
Then brought his young bride straight to bed,
On Monday he staggered
To his Mistress, the blackguard
A cosy affair, 'nuff said
While trying to sort out the plumbing Last one - V. good!
I heard Super Mario humming
So I blew down the pipe
A loud fart very ripe
So in revenge he's taken up drumming - it's the only thing I could think of that isn't filthy
Way back in the reign of King John
Whose follies we now dwell upon
The barons revolted
The serfs they all bolted
And Runnymede staged 'Magna-thon'
While re-writing the old magna Carta
I was attacked by a catholic martyr
Who rose from the grave ...presumably...
And made me a slave
Of the hon'rable Knights of the Garter
While cooking a great fat pork chop
I spied a large maggot on top
But as they're nutricious
It was not that malicious
To serve up the meal to my pop
Ben Johnson's a bit of a cheat Nothing if not topical eh? :-) Today is the 17th anniversary of his 100m gold in Seoul though.
He took drugs to speed up his feet
But to speed up your brain
Like La Moss, try cocaine
Line up for a cracking good treat!
Let me clean 'twixt your toes, mother dear
Lest the itching becomes very bad, as I fear oh yuk
Your joints are too stiff [Pen] Was the 'yuk' for the concept or the scansion? ;-)
and I can't stand the whiff
Of your feet when I venture too near.
Unleash all those inner desires!
By admitting you love Richard Briers
And Penelope Keith
And the voice of Lord Reith - Oddly enough, I'll be seeing Richard Briers and Penelope Keith soon.
And the odour of burnt rubber tyres. Rather sensuous. OK, I'm mad.
I once met an ogre so vast
That I thought I had breathèd my last
With a 'Fee fi fo fum'
As he spat out his gum
He advised me to run away fast
So I did, and I'm here - he's outside
I think he wants me for his bride
But when he gets close
I'll give him a dose
Care of Doc Jekkyl and old Mister Hyde
Relax now - this won't hurt a bit
Bend over, expose your left tit, ...at the dentist's or shooting porno-movies?
[Marc] I see you managed to sniff out an opportunity to lower the tone - behave yourself!
For we are freemasons
Hereditas jacens
Bend over, remove all your kit In the Masonic sense of course...
In time, you will come to discover
The call of the Little Ringed Plover - oft described as a 'loud pee-oo, uttered on rising'
It starts with a shout
Of a "pee", short and stout
then an "oo" like the sigh of a lover
Is there anything left in the sky?
Which would fit in my gravy-rich pie? hungry again...
A lark or a dove?
Or a cloud high above?
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord