arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Obligatory Limericks Game
help
When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
arrow_circle_up
Or so say the folks from Brisbane
But how would they know?
Since they so seldom go
Anywhere Northwest of Ukraine
There was a young fellow called Keith
Who sported elongated teeth
He would prey in the night
For morsels to bite
And thusly his curse would bequeath
There was a young feller called Ernie
Who appeared in E.R. - on a gurney
He hadn't a line
But just let out a whine
As he acted the end of life's journey No flowers please. Sniffle.
When you become overly tired [continuing from "thusly" above]
You may appear badly attired
With two mismatched socks
And your sisters best frocks
(insert apostrophe wherever desired)
and those black shiny stockings you hired.
The sandman is coming, my dear
Night drapes our celestial sphere
If you shut your eyes tight
And wish hard, you just might
In the morning, with luck, still be here
Are those French fries called French by the French?
Ask that lady of wisdom, Dame Dench
No, the French call then Frites
Because of their heat
And apply them to feet - cures the stench
I drift in a boat on the ocean
I drift in a boat on the ocean
And rub, on my skin, suntan lotion
My feet get Huile d'Frites [see above]
As the French say, tout de suite,
But my vomiting's due to the motion.
And now let us celebrate summer
Tho' the weather's a bit of a bummer
We'll just be beach bums
Each downing neat rums
Before driving off in our Hummer
If you want to impress an old flame
Invite her to go on the game
For cricket she'll love
With bat, balls and glove
But removing the stumps was a pain
My favourite firework of all
Is this rocket that stands six foot tall
The touchpaper lit
It then scares the shit
out of children who stand under it
In the beautiful waters so clear
Fixing Starsky's F*uck-up

Darren - My favourite firework of all
Robin - Is this rocket that stands six foot tall
Botherer - The touchpaper lit
Rosie - It then scares the shit
Software - Out of us as sparks from it fall

Starsky - In the beautiful waters so clear

Swam two little creatures quite queer
Their antics and games
Went up in flames
Burning offshore oilrigs being near.
The weekend's upon us at last!
I'm sure we'll all have a blast!
That's dangerous talk!
Said Mindy to Mork
"You're likely to get us both glassed"
An odd-looking bird is the stork
But tasty with onions and pork
It delivers babies
And can't transmit rabies
But its voice is much better than Bjork
A chicken which once crossed the road
Fell in love with a natterjack toad
It stopped for a chat
Result, they begat
A fowl in amphibian mode
A chicken that's born with frog's legs
Results from the scrambling of eggs
When cloning goes wrong
You'll find it's not long
Before the gene pool is nothing but dregs
A tune in the Dorian mode
Sung by a natterjack toad
Is likely to cause
loud, ringing applause
From the bloke in the pub 'cross the road.
Unlike froggies, most toads are all warty
Green, slimy and not very sporty
They don't like to joke
Or eat artichoke
Or do anything cheeky or naughty
By golly that just takes the biscuit!
Ten quid for some gristly old brisket
That's just taking the piss
My arse you can kiss
The feeling is nice if you risk it
hmmm... didn't like that much, but oh well.
When will my tomatoes be ripe?
They go so well with custard and tripe
Just place in the sun
You'll know when they're done
If you are a greenhousey type.
Tomatoes make such great bruschetta
With a glass of Peroni® much better
Add some antipasta
And Laetitia Casta [Simply scrumpotious!]
Then gently bend over toiletta
So swiftly he mounted his horse
That he fell off into the gorse
I said, "That'll learn 'im"
As he fractured his sternum
Maybe now he'll agree to divorce. - pen - very funny ending to the biscuit one I thought!
When your plant starts to wither and die
You should let them pickle in lye
And then let them whiten
The more so to frighten
The Dark Gothic Masters of Rye [that was rubbish - I know - but no worse than going from a singular plant into the plural - gosh, I'm in bullish mode tonight]
It's widely assumed that pigs sweat (Chalky) Yes, you are, aren't you. What's the weather like down there in Spiral City? :-)
But just to be safe, ask the vet
He'll tell you, I'm sure,
That your pig is impure
If he don't use deodorant yet
It is widely assumed that moles sing [R,J,D,D,p - nice]
A selection from Wagner's Ring
The part of Brunnhilde
(Portrayed as a builder)
Is a concession to feminist bling.
It is said that owls they are wise
As to why I can only surmise
Since they can't do sudoku
just like that bloke who (Wymo) Their wisdom is in doing something more interesting, such as perching.
Can't also so he never tries
"Pudenda"'s a funny old word
I'd use it if I were a bird
As a bloke I'm more blunt careful.....
With a wink and a grunt "careful" he says... *rolls eyes*
Use another I'm sure you have heard.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord