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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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and foul odour lingers
It's time for your bath to be drained."
He continued, "I think you will find
"That a dirty bath cleanses the mind,"
And, proving his point,
He swivelled his joint
and mounted the duck from behind.
I've heard mud packs are great for complexion
Along with a Botox® injection
To the front of the brain
Straight into a vein
To give you that facial erection
To poke fun at a pig in a poke
One needs an insensitive bloke
Who lunches on cats
And wears bright purple spats
Such as the men one finds in Stoke
Your claims have no basis in fact
Men of Stoke have oodles of tact
And manners to spare
So if you are there
You'll see that their brains are intact
Unfortunately, they are insane
So is my scansion. Let's try again.
Unfortunately, they're insane
Or so say the folks from Brisbane
But how would they know?
Since they so seldom go
Anywhere Northwest of Ukraine
There was a young fellow called Keith
Who sported elongated teeth
He would prey in the night
For morsels to bite
And thusly his curse would bequeath
There was a young feller called Ernie
Who appeared in E.R. - on a gurney
He hadn't a line
But just let out a whine
As he acted the end of life's journey No flowers please. Sniffle.
When you become overly tired [continuing from "thusly" above]
You may appear badly attired
With two mismatched socks
And your sisters best frocks
(insert apostrophe wherever desired)
and those black shiny stockings you hired.
The sandman is coming, my dear
Night drapes our celestial sphere
If you shut your eyes tight
And wish hard, you just might
In the morning, with luck, still be here
Are those French fries called French by the French?
Ask that lady of wisdom, Dame Dench
No, the French call then Frites
Because of their heat
And apply them to feet - cures the stench
I drift in a boat on the ocean
I drift in a boat on the ocean
And rub, on my skin, suntan lotion
My feet get Huile d'Frites [see above]
As the French say, tout de suite,
But my vomiting's due to the motion.
And now let us celebrate summer
Tho' the weather's a bit of a bummer
We'll just be beach bums
Each downing neat rums
Before driving off in our Hummer
If you want to impress an old flame
Invite her to go on the game
For cricket she'll love
With bat, balls and glove
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord