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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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He loved his dear camel
Whom he named after Pamel-
a Anderson. Why? 'cause she stinks.
A mad bomber from -- no, too soon for that I think.

On a stroll in the gardens of Kew [Chalky] Well, I know now, I didn't see the middle two words.

I discovered a cure for the 'flu
Once I'd eaten the herb
the bugs to disturb
And it cured too my coeliac sprue
"Play 'Misty' for me!", bellowed Wendy.
To her new man - a Turkish effendi
He played not a note
Nor strummed his sarod
Or blew on his brass horn so bendy.
I know I've been gone for a while
And left in a worrying style
But I've now done my time
And constructed a rhyme
To puzzle, bemuse and beguile:

My first letter looks like a tent
My second's a coin oft spent
Then ditto for three
The fourth's a trainee
And my last is the vowel in Lent

[Chalks]*hasn't seen a doctor in months* (dammit, because some of them are actually quite good-looking)
In a fairy tale that I once heard
McDonalds serve fresh lemon curd
Causing Little Miss Muffet
To 'Go Large' on her tuffet Oblig.
Until her-locution is slurred
I stood in the nude and yelled "Stalin!"
It didn't go down too well in Tallinn
The Estonians booed
The Lithuanians sued
Made a great document'ry for Palin Is assonance allowed...?
On this notable day for the French
They set fire to a large garden bench
It's forty foot high
The flames reached to the sky
But the smoke and the soot please don't mench'. (Bothere) Eh? I thought it was "Pay-lin".
[Rosie] That's why I asked about assonance. In the word's of Rita, "Getting the rhyme wrong..."
A lim'rick with dubious rhymes
Is barely worth nickels and dimes I don't want this to develop into a punch-up but shurely "assonance" means getting the rhyme right. Did you mean "dissonance", as Google might patronisingly ask.
It doesn't make cents My dictionary gives 'assonance' as 'partial correspondence; rough similarity', so Botherer is right about that, even if he doesn't know how to use apostrophes. *evil grin*
[Irouléguy] Doh! It's a fair cop!
And it's camp as pink tents
Much in line with The Financial Times.
I'm rowing the rivers for fun
While attempting a painting in oils (Irouléguy) I'm not going to give this up. :-) My Concise Oxford Dictionary (1964) says of assonance that the vowels must be the same but not necessarily the consonants, this being the partial correspondence you mention. Since it's vowels we're talking about I claim victory, virtue and points, and what do points mean? Derailments.
Oh, shit! Projoy, how dare you!
My subject declares
in four spades, no less . . . going with the flow
"I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet!"
A verse lacking reason or rhyme
Can be seen around here all the time
Just don't get involved [Rosie, IRG et al] Beyond the point of caring :-P
Things are easily solved
Just call it a victimless crime. (Raak) :-)
I once met a man from Morocco
where they don't get the scorching scirocco Meteorological correctness is all.
Just a pleasant mistral
Which slams doors in the hall yeah, yeah, I know it doesn't rhyme perfectly, but the picture in my head is nice :o)
And winds up the chaps on our block oh

What a pleasure it is to be given such challenging rhyming opportunities. And to get two such challenges in the one limerick! Appropos of everything - this may be of some interest to enthusiastic limerickators :-)

To know when to keep ones mouth shut
'Cos one's poesy don't make the cut
A male attribute? raising the controversy level...
No, that I'd refute (Chalky) I had thought of adding " . . and God help the fifth-liner" in the last limerick.
The very idea,indeed, tut tut
It is said that the pharaoh, King Tut
Had a frantic aversion to fruit
The mere thought of a plum
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