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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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"In search of the perfect green cheese"
But alas and alack
Ive found blue, I've found black
But none in the hue of green peas
Tonight there's been lightning and thunder (Chalky) How did Edmond Clerihew Bentley cause the Belgrano to sink. I think we should be told.
And a'tearing my garments asunder
The humidity's high
From my neck to my thigh
And it's too hot to eat -- I'd just chunder!
"Abracadabra !" said the wizard
Dropping into his potion, a lizard
And a piece of a frog
Two fried balls of a hog
And from his own pet warthog, the gizzard. Brothers and sisters, let us all puke.
Quoth the hoary old priest, "Let us pray"
"That the rain won't stop tennis this day"
"It's God's favoured game"
So take the Lord's name
So that He can keep showers away"
"I'm back!", cried the happy young man
I survived the war in Iran
But President Bush
Kicked us all in the tush
In the way that only he can.
Resign if you must - I don't care!
You can sue me in court -if you dare!
But you must not try
To poke me in the eye
Or all of your sins I'll lay bare.
I find, when I travel in vans
That there's not enough room for my fans
My groupies and flunkeys
And trained helper-monkeys
Are forced to stay over at Gran's
Gran's last guests were Hansel and Gretel
While Grandad's were Debbie and Petal
While I entertained
With arts unexplained (who's slash?)
Bands: rock, punk, heavy metal.
So what's Shangri-La when at home?
It's to lie in a bathtub in foam
And feast on the feeling
Of pruning and peeling
And arouse yourself with a comb.
While trekking in Lhasa, Tibet
I met a piano quintet
The head lama played Liszt
Another was pissed
I'm taking one home as a pet
I noticed my armpits got sweaty
whenever I thought of my Betty
My hyperhydrosis
Backs up the prognosis
That I need to cool off on the jetty.
Last night as she entered her bed,
My sweat glands started to shed
Big globules of puss
Puss?! As in cat? Priceless. Carry on chaps ...
Ah med a reet fuss attempting a rescue.....
'Bout disgusting lim'ricks - 'nuff said
O to be a perfect type - ist
And to be a flawless rhymist (the scansion, on the other hand...)
That's a dream we all have, (Then tonite I’d want to get pissed!)
As we sit on the lav There's only one direction this 'limerick' is going, and that's daaaahhhnnnn
After riches (still top of the list)
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