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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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by the visiting fans up from Leicester."
I won't do it! No! You can't make me!!
I will not go into that teepee
I'll stay in my yurt
, my loins primly girt
I simply will not let you take me!
A Rabbi, a Priest, and a goat
Sought out the Conservative vote
For each was a Tory
A right fairy story
Politically, they've missed the boat.
The Cup has come back to North London
It's fashioned from polycarbundun - that means 'crappy old plastic'
It leaks like a sieve
But, as long as I live,
I'll boast that at least we have won one
To Bombay, a travelling circus Sorry... ;-)
Made think us, say! what if we lurk us?
So we hid in the corner
Right behind the sauna
So no one or nothing could irk us! :)!
There was a young lass from Old Sarum
Who found herself in a sheik's harem
Though worried at first,
She rallied and cursed: *open quotes implied*
"They don't know I'm a boy! That'll scare 'em!"
[R,i,J,I,B] Heheheheh!
It's not a good morning for all
Who stayed up too late at the ball
For wine has effects
On some types of sex
Male or female, this mess will appal
I met a harpoonist from Munich
Who was seeing a Swiss gnome from Zurich
He whimpered and whaled
Then simpered and sailed Open alert...
Away in his shocking pink tunic
Bangaladesh have collapsed
[UK] What sort of Line 1 is that?
For their use of good grammar has lapsed
Can we speak Bengali? I think that's their language.
The metre and length are there, and it's a reference to the first day's play in the first test match.
[UK] sorry, I did rather pounce on you. Just a build up of mild frustration that after some wonderful free-flowing limericks over the last couple of months, this game seems to have become clogged up by clever-arse rhyming challenges. Spelling it out: Bangladesh has only two 'a's' so you've inserted an extra syllable; using a proper singular noun, the line should read 'has collapsed'; how many rhymes are there for a word ending in '-lapsed' apart from other words ending in, er ... '-lapsed'?; finally, test match eh? whoopee-dee
Curses! Let down by my spelling! Oh bugger it.
Move along now, nothing to see Giving up the previous one for dead
Except for the glory of me
clad only in pants (Chalky) Uncle K's spelling mistake improved the scansion no end, whether by accident or design. I'd like to think the latter. Am I right, UK?
As I gyrate and dance Northern pronunciation invoked. (Rosie) Of course! Ahem... Well, as I said above, I felt the scansion was fine, and I defend my use of 'Bangladesh' as a plural noun to refer to a team of individuals!
A fine jig called 'The Maid of Tralee' [UK defence] quite right too! Now what about the '-lapsed' rhyme potential? teehee :-)
They say that obsession with cricket
Makes you throw a ball and not kick it
Start yelling "Howzat!"
And "Look at my bat!"
And "Read the new Lemony Snicket." For a slightly spooky experience, try Googling "The maid of Tralee" (with the quote marks).
A golfer with only one club [Irouléguy] Try clicking on the "repeat the search with the omitted results included" for a heavy dose of repetition.
Will oft find his ball in a shrub
This provides explanation
of tight-lipped vexation
Venting frustration o'er his flub
Don't ever play poker with Mice!
And don't let the cats near the dice!
Don't play a smidgen
Of chess with a pigeon
or brag with a goat. That's vice.
Avoid playing boule with a sloth
And don't trust a Romulan's oath
When he bellows, "Oh, blast!"
Get out of there fast!
Or else it's the end for you both.
There once was a fair maid from Skye
Who would bathe in a tub full of lye
She'd scrub with wire wool
(The naïve young fool)
those parts in which men like to lie.
The difference between you and me
Is obvious. What? Can't you see?
Just look down here
There's nothing to fear
I've filled up my basement with brie
I never eat lobster or crab
On the whole, I prefer food quite drab
Don't mention a taco
Tex-Mex gets me wacko
Yes, bread rolls (I say) are just fab.
A potter from Guadalajara
Was enamoured of Maureen O'Hara
So he threw a pot
In the shape of her bot
For use in films that don't star 'er.
There once was a lonely young Tsar [oh you brits and your adorable vowels]
Who searched for a bride wide and far
In the Urals and Steppes
He found some sales reps [Software] "Steppes" is a bloody hard rhyme.
Who were wider than his Bentley car
While charging my printer with ink
I said to my spouse with a wink
"How 'bout a quickie?"
it'll be nice "n" sticky
My inkjet is hard, stiff and pink." (yes, coat)
Whilst scanning the paper for news
as distinct from political views
I chanced on a story
Both funny and gory
Of pool players impaled on cues
So, pot all the reds and screw back
And try to get onto the black [obvious rhyme]
Then chalk your tip
And prepare to let rip
Damn it! Just can't get the knack!
Eheu Alack and Alas!
+ ,
Actually, let me take another run up at that, for a better rhyme...
Eheu, alas and alack!
A lass is, alas, what I lack
So I'll look for a lad
Can it be that bad?
if I don't mind what goes up my back? Ahem
[Rosie] Considering the available rhymes, I think you showed admirable restraint there!
Believe me, it's going to snow.
This is Antarctica, that's how I know
The penguins are huddled
But my mind is muddled
Watch out! It's just ready to blow
Uhu, alas and alack
, is the glue-sniffer's version of crack (Projoy) :-) I am capable of such. I thought it was about rude enough.
It sticks things together
Be they wood, steel or leather
Why doesn't it stick to the pack?
Uhuru, alas and alek!
That momma ain't got no respec'
She got soft-boiled heggs
And dem unshaven legs
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