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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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And the size of her bra Sorry...
Are the cause of much frequent hilarity.
Oh, woe and alas and alack!
My baby's been caught smoking crack!
I do hope her craving
Will stop her from shaving
The fur off our guinea pig's back.
I've been lost for a rather long time
Got stuck in the sunniest clime
It might sound inviting
But not when you're fighting
for rhyme so sublime it will chime.
Tomorrow, I think I'll go fishing
My Wife wont even know that I'm missing
I'll take stacks of beer
To the end of the pier
And over the end I'll be pissing oblig.
Of first lines, I'm heartily sick (six out of the last nine, including this one)
They really do get on my wick
So next time I'll wait
till I see the bait (pen) Isn't that rather difficult for the fair sex?
Then in my 10p's worth I'll stick!
[Rosie: a propos your comment to pen: my family and I (including my wife's mother) were out for a walk in the New Forest some while ago. Half way through the walk, my mother-in-law had to heed the call of nature and took herself off the path. My younger son, Sam, noticed her absence. "Where's Grandma Alice gone?", he asked. "She's gone to do a wee-wee", my wife told him. He absorbed this information and we moved on. After a few moments, he tugged at my sleeve. I leaned down and he whispered urgently into my ear: "how's she going to hit the tree?".
It seems I just can't stop this racket
Next time I may add one more bracket ;-)
and layers of felt (Kim) He knows too much. :-)
Pulled from my belt
And pockets I tore from your jacket a bit weak, but it seems nobody wanted to end this one...
I double-post here to spare Kim
For too many first lines is grim
But third line is easy
By the fourth, I am queasy
Now we're done, so back over to him
If you think this is me - well it's not
But quite who it is, I forgot
It certainly aint me
And I am not he
So let's explore who we are - in the cot.
Three hundred grams of hard cheese
Lovingly applied to the knees
Will server to save
A maid or a knave
From vicious attacks of large bees
While applying a nice coat of lacquer
My wrist just gets limper and slacker
But, once it dries off
I stiffen and cough
Up that lump of slimy chew-bacca
A frivolous lass from Manchester
Would go out wearing just a sou'wester
She said "I'm not cold, *open quote alert*
and I'm told I'm quite bold, *continues*
by the visiting fans up from Leicester."
I won't do it! No! You can't make me!!
I will not go into that teepee
I'll stay in my yurt
, my loins primly girt
I simply will not let you take me!
A Rabbi, a Priest, and a goat
Sought out the Conservative vote
For each was a Tory
A right fairy story
Politically, they've missed the boat.
The Cup has come back to North London
It's fashioned from polycarbundun - that means 'crappy old plastic'
It leaks like a sieve
But, as long as I live,
I'll boast that at least we have won one
To Bombay, a travelling circus Sorry... ;-)
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