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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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And collide with the door
Taking care not to bite on your lip
There once was an artist from Prague
Who painted the central Camargue
White horses galore
Galloping along the shore
Entre toute des grandes vagues
There was a young lady from Tottenham (Softers) Je suis impressionné
Short skirts - wow! She really looked hot 'n 'em
With her legs e're so long
And quadriceps strong
And clogs, that she got straight from Rotterdam.
A gent who was sent up to Ghent
Caused havoc wherever he went
When he jourmeyed from Aix
"journeyed"...
He let loose a hex
Since his pronunciation was bent
You give me lager when I ask for beer
And cast me down when I just want good cheer Are we creating a new form, the limeronnet?
But give me a cider [Raak] No... ;)
Complete with dead spider Ahhhh! scrumpy..
And you just watch me disappear!
"Would you like an extra strong mint?"
As a chat-up line [maybe a hint?]
Can only be said
"I'd rather be dead!"
"Well, I'd buy you a beer, but I'm skint"
When you finish your call and ring off
I can't help but think "what a toff"
Your accent is posh
You talk utter tosh
From my list you will now be struck orff.
I once met a psychic named Beth
Who told me the date of my death
It was two months ago
Which just goes to show
Thou shouldst e'er ignore what Beth saith.
I died on the first day of Spring
And lay dead as a very dead thing
I nourish the worms
But can't come to terms
With r&b, swingbeat or bling
The one thing to remember is this:
Keep your feet wide apart when you piss sorrysorrysorry
Urine-soaked feet
For girl's is not neat
You'll not be number one for a kiss.
The good folk of Tierra del Fuego
Know just how to make a good play go
Their theatre's fame
Derives from its name:
"The Performers of Japanese Plays - No"
The insurance you sold me's no cushion
So don't come back round to me pushin'
With your foot in the door
Your patter's a bore
So scram, or I'll clobber yer mush in!
Let's open a new pack of verses
So cough up, chaps, and open your purses
They cost a pound each
The basics we'll teach
Of rhyming and meter and curses
The people who live down the road
Have cornered the market in woad
They paint themselves blue
An interesting hue
Then explode like a germanic toad (what a great story that was)
Actually; following on from the aborted bifurcating limerick...
As you eat this Duck à l'Uranium
To the sound of the sweet-toned harmanium (which is like a harmonium, but more harmanous)
You might catch a queck (which is like quick but more quacky)
peek at the old beck (which is like a bick, but sharper)
Or dig around inside its cranium. (which is a bit like a...oh, sod it.)
One holiday weekend in May
I went to a very strange play
Just an empty old stage
Holding Nicholas Cage
With music by John. Stay away.
I wish I could play violin
'Cos fiddling is said to be 'in'
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord