mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game

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The Obligatory Limericks Game

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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...

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I did about half, then gave up

It's so hard to wash a whole cup

With hands that are soft

I just lazily waft

Some Fairy suds in the general direction of the kitchen sink and then wander off to play with my Weimeraner pup

The battle for gold is intense

though tin's just as good, and less dense

The bronze age's agent

Was copper's reagent Basta*d rhyme, mutter, gripe

But steel wire's the best for a fence

I'm willing to negotiate

Please Joe, say it ain't so

argh, sorry...

Kim - I'm willing to negotiate

CdM - So tell me please, what's your best rate?

If we can agree [CdM] What a curious misspost - am wondering if it offers a window into your psyche :-)

By quarter to three

Then we can make it before its too late

variation time:
May we invite alternative last lines? [no offence, S'ware] It seemed to have so much potential ...
I'll start with
I'm willing to negotiate
So tell me please, what's your best rate?
If we can agree
By quarter to three
My ego won't over-inflate.

[Chalky] Nothing so interesting; I just failed to notice when I previewed that I was also simulposted. :-)

[CdM] I used to have a really patronising message warning you about that, but it upset snorgle so I turned it off.

By four-o-clock I'll find a date

This time I won't procrastinate

So let's get it on

Tuj] I may be wrong but I think the previous two lines were alternative endings - which is entirely my fault for over-complicating things ...however, it all fits so I'll follow ..
Chalky - Before this mood's gone

So to bed where we'll procreate [Suitable, Chalks?]

[CdM, Chalks, Irouleguy, Softers, Juxtapose, Pen, Tuj] Most satisfactory. This should become a variation of the game, where a number of alternatives for lines 3, 4 and 5 are suggested (but 1 and 2 remain fixed).
Now, if you'll just slip on this slip

You may trip up just a bit Thanks for the accolade, Kim :-)

And slide on the floor

And collide with the door

Taking care not to bite on your lip

There once was an artist from Prague

Who painted the central Camargue

White horses galore

Galloping along the shore

Entre toute des grandes vagues

There was a young lady from Tottenham (Softers) Je suis impressionné

Short skirts - wow! She really looked hot 'n 'em

With her legs e're so long

And quadriceps strong

And clogs, that she got straight from Rotterdam.

A gent who was sent up to Ghent

Caused havoc wherever he went

When he jourmeyed from Aix

"journeyed"...

He let loose a hex

Since his pronunciation was bent

You give me lager when I ask for beer

And cast me down when I just want good cheer Are we creating a new form, the limeronnet?

But give me a cider [Raak] No... ;)

Complete with dead spider Ahhhh! scrumpy..

And you just watch me disappear!

"Would you like an extra strong mint?"

As a chat-up line [maybe a hint?]

Can only be said

"I'd rather be dead!"

"Well, I'd buy you a beer, but I'm skint"

When you finish your call and ring off

I can't help but think "what a toff"

Your accent is posh

You talk utter tosh

From my list you will now be struck orff.

I once met a psychic named Beth

Who told me the date of my death

It was two months ago

Which just goes to show

Thou shouldst e'er ignore what Beth saith.

I died on the first day of Spring

And lay dead as a very dead thing

I nourish the worms

But can't come to terms

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