arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Obligatory Limericks Game
help
When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
arrow_circle_up
"Well, I'd buy you a beer, but I'm skint"
When you finish your call and ring off
I can't help but think "what a toff"
Your accent is posh
You talk utter tosh
From my list you will now be struck orff.
I once met a psychic named Beth
Who told me the date of my death
It was two months ago
Which just goes to show
Thou shouldst e'er ignore what Beth saith.
I died on the first day of Spring
And lay dead as a very dead thing
I nourish the worms
But can't come to terms
With r&b, swingbeat or bling
The one thing to remember is this:
Keep your feet wide apart when you piss sorrysorrysorry
Urine-soaked feet
For girl's is not neat
You'll not be number one for a kiss.
The good folk of Tierra del Fuego
Know just how to make a good play go
Their theatre's fame
Derives from its name:
"The Performers of Japanese Plays - No"
The insurance you sold me's no cushion
So don't come back round to me pushin'
With your foot in the door
Your patter's a bore
So scram, or I'll clobber yer mush in!
Let's open a new pack of verses
So cough up, chaps, and open your purses
They cost a pound each
The basics we'll teach
Of rhyming and meter and curses
The people who live down the road
Have cornered the market in woad
They paint themselves blue
An interesting hue
Then explode like a germanic toad (what a great story that was)
Actually; following on from the aborted bifurcating limerick...
As you eat this Duck à l'Uranium
To the sound of the sweet-toned harmanium (which is like a harmonium, but more harmanous)
You might catch a queck (which is like quick but more quacky)
peek at the old beck (which is like a bick, but sharper)
Or dig around inside its cranium. (which is a bit like a...oh, sod it.)
One holiday weekend in May
I went to a very strange play
Just an empty old stage
Holding Nicholas Cage
With music by John. Stay away.
I wish I could play violin
'Cos fiddling is said to be 'in'
Like fiddling the books
With too many cooks
Can lead to many a sin
rats misaligned
In politics, all is not fair
Unless you support Tony Blair
Whose radical stance
on invading France
Touched the heart of the public right there.
The wilderness threatens my garden
So in tactics I beg no one's pardon
I'll brandish this scythe
And Paraquat-ize
And wait for the green concrete to harden
Bordellos in Brighton-on-Sea
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord