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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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nights
but I'll give it a shot
Chalky
My address is attached - just in case.
Tuj
I threw up my arms in dismay
Uncle Korky
Distraught at the death of Fay Wray
nights
at the hands of a monkey
Darren
So sprightly and spunky
Juxtapose
a girl was gorilla paté.
The Wichita Lineman Rides again
ZK
The disturbance this evening in Maine
god, I hope nothing's actually happened in Maine
Rosie
For news of which we search in vain
If we're that sad.
Tuj
I am told was a shocker
Darren
It took place in a locker
Chalky
But no trace of events do remain.
... bugger
Projoy
Explosive and dangerous stuff
Puckoon
is Marmite stains on a shirt cuff
Darren
For, when they ignite,
Thos
Not even "Allbrite"
Botherer
Can douse the flames quite well enough.
Rosie
When rain stops play at Trent Bridge
Uncle Korky
I immediately dive for the fridge
Kim
In its depths I discover
Chalky
My previous lover
Thos
That's Mary (with Mungo and Midge)
Projoy
A cloak of the finest azure
Irouleguy
With sequins and feathers galore
Raak
Is the best thing to wear
Uncle Korky
When you have an affair
penelope
And it beats 'doing it' on the floor
Tuj
A dog and a cat and a hat
Knobbly
An ice-skate and large cricket bat
Darren
A man, a canal,
Raak
A plan quite banal
Chalky
The result? An unsolved dingbat.
Darren
Most people who went to my school
Projoy
Epitomised liminal cool
Chalky
The rest of the nerds
Kiwi Chris
Who travelled in herds
Raak
Are the ones who are destined to rule.
Juxtapose
It's true that us nerds have an edge
nice finish, Raak
Projoy
In signing the temperance pledge
Darren
Because we can't drink
penelope
We think we can think
Uncle Korky
With more than our meat and two veg.
Marc
Confucius said: “This new year,”
Chalky
just adding a tiny syllable ...
Confucius he said: "This new year
Will bring forth a glorious fruit beer.
Raak
It's flavoured with lichees
Darren
And, doing your tai chis,
Rosie
will get you slung out on your ear.
Tuj
Whilst on the razz, dressed as a nun
Botherer
I happened upon a shotgun
penelope
I'd no need to worry
Darren
As I was in Surrey
muttleee
A great place to be 'on the run'
Chalky
Your honour, I plead mitigation
Darren
Because of this strange litigation
Ye Olde Gong Farmer
I'm stuck in this dock
Tuj
Because of my cock
a doodle doo
Rosie
which I exposed at East Croydon station.
What's the problem? Nobody would notice because they're all wittering into their sodding mobiles.
(Tuj) Bad luck!
Juxtapose
The judge showed no mercy at all
continuing the story...
Kiwi Chris
and had me chained up to a ball
Tuj
He duly proclaimed
Rosie] for the sake of decency, it could still be an animal...
Raak
I deserved to be blamed
Chalky
For the rate of exchange in Nepal
Thos
The answers which all of us seek
Projoy
Will be broadcast on telly next week
Irouleguy
When Richard and Judy
Snodgrass
And an overweight foodie
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