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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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And it beats 'doing it' on the floor
A dog and a cat and a hat
An ice-skate and large cricket bat
A man, a canal,
A plan quite banal
The result? An unsolved dingbat.
Most people who went to my school
Epitomised liminal cool
The rest of the nerds
Who travelled in herds
Are the ones who are destined to rule.
It's true that us nerds have an edge nice finish, Raak
In signing the temperance pledge
Because we can't drink
We think we can think
With more than our meat and two veg.
Confucius said: “This new year,”
just adding a tiny syllable ...
Confucius he said: "This new year
Will bring forth a glorious fruit beer.
It's flavoured with lichees
And, doing your tai chis,
will get you slung out on your ear.
Whilst on the razz, dressed as a nun
I happened upon a shotgun
I'd no need to worry
As I was in Surrey
A great place to be 'on the run'
Your honour, I plead mitigation
Because of this strange litigation
I'm stuck in this dock
Because of my cock a doodle doo
which I exposed at East Croydon station. What's the problem? Nobody would notice because they're all wittering into their sodding mobiles. (Tuj) Bad luck!
The judge showed no mercy at all continuing the story...
and had me chained up to a ball
He duly proclaimed Rosie] for the sake of decency, it could still be an animal...
I deserved to be blamed
For the rate of exchange in Nepal
The answers which all of us seek
Will be broadcast on telly next week
When Richard and Judy
And an overweight foodie
Will consume a quarter-ton leek
Whilst overindulging on veg
I managed to fall into a hedge
Beneath which, I found
ten dollars, one pound
And an ageing gay rocker named Reg
A predisestablishmentarian
Said this, to a parliamentarian
"The Bishop of Ely (snorgle) Are you absolutely certain that Parliament existed in the predisestablishment era? I only arsk. :-)
Just gave me a feely
Which proves he's a humanitarian."
And copped an incredibly hairy one
sorry - Simulpost Carry on
'On a course aimed at self-cultivation
We learned about auto-cremation
So give me a match
And a nicorette® patch
Self-esteem, Self-respect, immolation!
Exteleologicalism (that's better, I was trying to find a word that would take up a whole line).
*sigh*
Exteleologicalism
When spelled wrong can cause rheumatism
But with letters correct
It is not, I suspect
A reason for triumphalism
Proper spelling's a thing that's essential
Lest your writing's deemed inconsequential
So practise with letters
As do all good typesetters hope that's spelt right . . .
When slinging the lead to their betters.
Vary the rhyme scheme for kicks!
Or instead of just five lines, write six!
Yes, lengthening's one of our tricks.
When we get to the middle
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