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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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who smelt like a yak and had a 50% excess in the "L" department. Better than three buttocks, I suppose.
Tickled her bits with a broom
A one-legged man from porthcawl as we are in this mode
Got pinned up against a brick wall
But with one mighty hop
He sprung into a shop
and gave the police a call [pen] what on earth FOR?
A disabled old bailiff from York
Had a peg-leg, capped off with a cork [nights] To argue about its pronunciation, of course!
His hand was a hook
His belly - it shook
whenever threatened with a spork [pen] there's no point - somerset people rarely see reason...
A train bound for South Abertawe
Was last seen en route to Malawi Hi all.
The points were set wrong Now, does everybody know that the last two syllables (out of the 4) of Abertawe rhyme, more or less, with the first 2 syllables of "sou' wester" and, furthermore, it's only bloody Swansea in Welsh anyway. I'll get the breakdown gang. :-)
Just outside Kampong
When some hitchikers yelled "Going our way?"      No, Rosie - well at least not me.
Hitchikers are normal people but they do occasionally drop their aitches.
*grumble* Banter Game?

Chalky - If you race round the M25

Between 4 and a quarter to 5 [Rosie] This site says ta weh. I did check...honest. :-)
You might see the ghost
Of the last man to post
That is, if Chalky's left him alive! *enters Witness Protection Programme*
Come on, guys, pay attention to the correct stresses of the syllables in the scansion... that last line *simply* *does* *not* *work* in any way, shape or form. Please learn how a limerick works.
I know that I'm quite the offender
When I go on a fifty day bender
But my very besht friend
Tries to pretend
That he is my staunchest defender.
The trouble with being a pedant JLE] It could work (possibly) without that rogue comma - stress on if and left, that is more like that's?
Is you're less well beloved than a red ant
And as hierarchies go
Red ants score quite low
So ease up and you'll be more pleasant. =)
Quite terrible things will occur
should it be that you fail to concur
So now you'll agree
You really want me
Even though I'm a "he" not a "her"
If you wish to determine my sex
You'll have to sign seven blank cheques
Stick three up your arse,
At the others, throw darts
And give both my cheeks sev'ral pecks
'A new lease of life' is a phrase
That is true in just so many ways
But it doesn't apply
To the mote in my eye
That afflicts me today of all days
I gambled, and now it's all lost
as they say in Brum, it's all "bost"
It's back to the streets
Dressed in re-cycled sheets
of old wallpaper, nicely embossed.
Playing golf, I am twelve over par
'Cos I can't hit the ball very far
I find when I swing
(and now, here's the thing)
I'm losing control of the car
My handicap now is just four
little mites crawling 'round on the floor
Must find a solution
To nappy pollution
Perhaps I'll just show 'em the door...
Some music has ended the day
The Birdie Song sent us away
Although it was naff
A friendly chiff-chaff
Set all our hips asway.
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