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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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With no more than a piece of elastic, [Puckoon] CAUGHT CAUGHT CAUGHT CAUGHT CAUGHT. Spleen vented; sorry.
I essayed a, épaulement fantastic
That's I essayed an épaulement fantastic
it delighted the crowds [everyone] STOP ARGUING! there's only one nights.
who hoisted their shrouds nights] What happened to the other one thousand then? More downsizing?
They don't know my hip's made of plastic.
I pulled, and I grunted, and groaned
And forgot my bold tags as well :-(
I tugged and I panted and moaned
But still I could not
shift Stonehenge one jot (snorgle) You'll need to acquire, ahem, certain features. But I'm sure you knew that anyway. :-)
So it's off to the Tor to get stoned
I essay a stunning jetée
(zhet-ay)
Followed through with a graceful plié (plee-ay)
But my battement tendu
Was pas bien comprendu
And everyone's calling me gay! boom-boom
When alone, with my "great" plans
I call in my legion of fans
They bow down before me
And all call me Normy
Disturbingly, most drive white vans.
On a recent visit to Devon
I refuelled at a small 7-11
I misread the sign
For the A339
and I'm now on the A327 help!
Be careful, be wary, be wise!
For all that they tell you is lies!
but I don't believe it
not one little bit
but they will ask, "Who ate all the pies?"
Oscar Wilde was a very great wit,
but others just think he was shit,
some like him a bit,
some call him a hit,
and others would cover him with grit.
Showing off I know but what the heck...
Now, Oscar, he's gone off to glory
That might be the end of his story
For those with such pride
(And Lions to hide)
the rest, I'm afraid, is too gory.
I'm looking out of my window
O'er the hillocks of blustery Findo
I must wear a hat
Made out of a cat
Or stay in and play my Nintindo.
"Pathetic!" I heard a man shout
"And you call yourself a Boy Scout?!"
"When in the BB" oblig. (BB is short for Boys' Brigade)
"It's apparent to me"
"You must NOT let your Troop be wiped out!"
Fall in!
He shouted "You 'orrible lot!"
"What a shower of shit that I've got!"
Shoulders back, stand up straight
And hold out your plate!
And eat it all up while it's hot.
The trouble with riding a horse
In traffic and not on a course!
Is unknown to me
However, I flee
In case it gives grounds for divorce.
I'm back in the saddle once more
not minding that it mkaes me sore
If I grip with my thighs
I get quite a surprise [pen'll know what I mean :-b]
For I've found an old apple core
A duck à l'orange, if you please!
And to follow, the board a la cheese!
And then, ice de cream
(I'll pass on the bream)
Try 'a runner' but lose my car keys.
I once saw a duck mount a moose
Perhaps she thought it was a goose
This sexual perversion
And cervine coercion
Demolished a Norwegian Spruce.
You can't fit a moose in your mouth
Unlike ungulates of the Deep South
Over in the East
Raw elk is a feast
but they still prefer haggis in Louth
Those sirens are driving me mad!
'Snot as if I've been really that bad...
If I give in to the law [Puckoon] Louth is my home town... I'll grant you a temporary poetic licence for that blatant untruth.
They'll sound them much more
And at our drowning we'll be glad using poetic license to switch between two meanings of sirens
'Tis the season of snow and good cheer
Though there ain't much of that around here
White stuff's not falling
I think that's appalling
"Oh shut-up and drink up your beer." -
So, only six months until Summer! Woo-hoo!
It's less than the wait for a plumber
But slightly more wet
There's much winter yet
Don't remind me, it is such a bummer
So is it a foot or an inch?
You'll see if you give it a pinch
I can tell by the scale
Because I'm a male
You need a ten horsepower winch.
So much for my expectations!
[Chalky] haven't you forgotten something?
Chalky - So much for my expectations!
The Wichita Lineman - T'is the season of good will to all nations (repair over)
In short supply
*confused* - thought I posted the first line to a limerick?
Well that's what it looked like on my browser :-S
And who is the Witchita Lineman?
This is all getting very confusing. The Witchita Lineman is probably attributable to Glen Campbell who is a particularly good example of the dreadful American "country music" genre.

So, shall we try again, and hope Chalky's browser has been de-bugged.

Chalky - So much for my expectations!
Software - I was expecting congratulations

Oh Lordy - woss goin' on?
SW - I like American country music, OK? :-)
Anyway, I'm going to start the Limerick again whilst waiting for the Witchita Lineman to reveal him/her self ..
Chalky - So much for my expectations!
I fear that all these castrations
Will hamper my search
For a ball-bearing perch blimey!
oh hell... forget the bold 'blimey'
And my hopes of infant relations. [Chalks], Oh, so you're the one ;-)
Well, that was all rather confusing
Is it HTML we're abusing? (comment test)
Looks like a </b> tag has gorn astray somewhere. I can't fix it from here unfortunately, as I fall foul of the Bad HTML detector
Ah, found it. There's a </b tag at the end of the "horsepower winch" move above.
Internet abuse
Such spurious code
Was that AXI's move? Maybe it was, so:

Uncle Korky - Well, that was all rather confusing
Projoy - Is it HTML we're abusing?
AXI - Internet abuse
Software - Is strictly no use

If the good guys always end up losing.
"Go away", I explode in my fury
Going nuclear like old Marie Curie
and do not come back
'Til you've found me that hack
That knobbled the judge and the jury.
"Stand back! It's a rabid mince pie!"
"One scratch from its fangs and you'll die!"
Though it's crust looks quite tasty
My decision was hasty
And now up in heaven I sigh. .. hmm .. bit wobbly on the tenses, that one.
Impartial advice is quite rare
And even then, to be fair
I seldom take heed
Carpe Diem's my creed
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