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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Chalky
'Cause Kerry's long chin
Bif
Will start
char
ming peo
ple
any day
Now
Bif
"Wear shiny plastic on your skin"
gruntgrunt
Snodgrass
And try to imagine you're thin
good memory required
Raak
The semi-transparent
Marc
... just almost apparent ...
Software
It looks like you're just wearing a grin.
Kim
The Cheshire Cat smiled and spoke thus:
Software
"Because I just fade, there's a fuss"
Breadmaster
"People wonder and stare"
Ella
''When I'm only part there''
Tuj
"And that's why I'm wearing this truss."
Projoy
For five hundred years I had thought
Rosie
that happiness could always be bought
(Projoy) the secret of your longevity being.....?
Simons Mith
And was cheap at the price
Confucius (Marc really)
....so much cheaper than rice…
Software
But then I found I'd been "caught".
Chalky
It's taken me ten years to find
Raak
The piece that fell out of my mind
Software
It was here all the time
Rosie
It must mean that I'm
Bif
What's left after Lechter had dined
Kim
To a nice piece of liver I'm partial
plump
Before I'm up for my latest court martial
Kiwi Chris
It'll cook up so fine
Raak
Judge and jury shall dine
Rosie
and I my defences shall marshal.
Projoy
Close reading of texts will reveal
Dujon
The source of your minister's zeal
Raak
Chapter 3, verse 16
Marc
No, not that! You’re so mean!
Software
You might get off on appeal
CdM
The problem with such hermeneutics
Raak
They're no match for the Gaul sage, Refutix
Breadmaster
Cite chapter and verse
ZK
Till they rage, spit and curse
Projoy
Then persist: they'll explode in a few ticks.
I read, in today's
Daily Mail
,
ZK
That Prince Philip's turned into a quail
stranger things have happened
Chalky
Her Maj is appalled
Breadmaster
Though he was pretty old
Rosie
but now she'll have eggs
sans pareil.
All right, male quails don't lay eggs.
ZK
It's often been said, down our way
Or often been Sid, as I typed before...
Tuj
That male quails don't lay eggs, unless gay
Rosie
And those that they do
Mmm, this is getting quite surreal.
Marc
Are just filled with goo
Software
Bollocks! That's all just hearsay.
nights
There was a young lady from Camden
Snodgrass
Who always liked to keep her hand in
nights
Quite where, we don't know
penelope
We suspect it was Bow
Bif
(It's the sort of place she'd make one "stand" in)
Bif
I've been told that the Tottenham Court Road
Breadmaster
Is a bad place to be for a toad
Projoy
But frogs are OK
Rosie
,lightly killed, they say,
Rather crunchy.
ZK
Unlike ferrets, which tend to explode.
It happened nine times yesterday...
There was a young gent lived in Fulham
limerick syntax declared
Kim
A hit with girls - boy, could he pull 'em!
Software
For he was well endowed
opening for abuse....
Projoy
And oft stood rather proud
never knowingly underestimated
Bif
And his silken words always would lull 'em
Projoy
I'm standing in two feet of rain
Bif
Yes, my basement is flooded again
penelope
The waters are lapping
unfinished sentence al...
Kiwi Chris
And the kids are all clapping
Rosie
the Medway - it's won yet again.
Software
Outside it is blowing a hooley
More bloody rough weather, eh Rosie?
Raak
And the rain pisses down most unduly
(Actually, it's quite fine here and now.)
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