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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Makes squeaky phone calls
[merely a comment - I cannot do line 5] (plump) That's uncanny! I put up the same first line about 2 yrs ago in MCPants and the 2nd line was "who cut off his bollocks and ate 'em". Was that you? An even more shameless recycling than mine, and, ahem, it scans a bit better. :-)
But offers a pouch for a gem? [Play on kids, throwing sand in the eyes makes no one happy!]
His sex drive had started to wane
When he'd finished the case of champagne
So he had 3 Viagra
Leapt over Niagara
And had sex again and again.
The Queen dropped the Orb & the Sceptre
And deserted the people who'd kept her
she romped off with a lad
Twice as old as her dad
'cos at sex older men are adepter. Oh yes we are.
While recycling a piece of old glass [Rosie] I think it must have been so good a line my brain filed it away.Cannot be sure who posted it last time.
A heard a voice say, "what a farce!"
If it's brown, green or clear
It should not be put here!
Your glass belongs to the whiskey-class.
Today I'll buy me a used submarine, http://www.b-americanboats.com/whiskeysub.html
Including a deep-diving sex-machine
So diving for muff
Will not be so tough
as trying to persuade people that scansion is an essential ingredient of a Limerick - know what I mean?
So fuck off good scansion – you know what I mean?>[Rosie: Why destroying an almost finished limerick just to try teaching us common amateur poets something that you don’t respect yourself? Very bad manner in my humble opinion]
He once found a Rose on the heath
A mutant that sported sharp teeth
So for gnawing the bark [Rosie & Marc] Calm down dears, its only a bit of fun
Of itself, in the dark
He nibbled her buds underneath.
One day as he mounted his horse
The muse suddenly struck - "But of course!"
"To straddle a saddle"
"I must use a paddle"
"Some soap, a small fish and The Force™"
While trying to get through to my bank
To cash my check for a million Swiss Franc(tough to match your excellent scansion Rosie;-)
I got music on hold all too true, unfortunately :-(
And grew very old
Before I realised that you can't cash cheques over the phone

sorry - couldnt resist....


"Please press "star" key now twice and then hold"
By an anomyous voice I was told
This nameless deciever
                                                        sorry, meant to preview not submit. :(
I’m an asshole and need a good spank!
I haven't been here for a while
She said donning a satisfied smile
It all looks quite strange
It seems quite a change
But a Miss is as good as a mila
She read Kama Sutra, then said:
"Can you wrap both your legs round your head?"
I said, "Yes, and what's more, (dangling quote warning)
"I can spin on the floor"
She said, "that'll do, let's get wed".
The wedding went off with no hitch
'Cos both sides were equally rich. Ooh, cynical!
But soon it turned sour ,Cant you just see line 5 coming
For they differed in power
And she returned to her mother, the bitch! Satisfying Snod's prediction
I would just like to point out that the line above, to whit: "I'm an asshole and need a good spank" was not written by me and I would kindly ask whoever it was to not do that again.
Whilst walking the streets late at night
In my stilettos and miniskirt, tight Why not?
A copper approached me (Softers) I wouldn't try that in Croydon.
And offered a small fee
And showed me his helmet so bright . [st dog] Well whoever it wasclearly wanted to make a statement and it looks like it was true
There once was a cute little pup
So small he could fit in a cup
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