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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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, Just couldn't quite dance like a Latin...
Last Tango in Southend-on-Sea
a film I just don't want to see
It's nothing but dross
With Matt and Luke Goss (remember them? I bet you wish you didn't)
A mark out of five? Minus three.
And talking of towns on the coast
They say (though they don't like to boast)
That Yarmouth's the place
For black satin lace
And mushrooms and baked beans on toast.
When paying a visit to Durham hoho
I realised there's no rhyme for Durham Let alone two.
And so I left Durham
(A nice town that, Durham)
And ended up in Dover, which is vile.
Enough of this nonsense. Back to proper limerickese.
I once met a man with three legs
Who pushed out a basket of eggs
I said, "Hello, tripod", I can only think of one rhyme
"are you man or god?" was that the one?
And ended up in Dover, which was nowhere near as nice as Durham
An angel approached me and said:
"Permit me to point out you're dead"
"Your mortal life ended"
"Your ways you have mended" I still think the other place is more interesting.
So well send you to Durham instead
Ahem - "So we'll send you to Durham instead." Ay thang yew.
In Darlington, Durham and Dover
The law has a precedence over
The wearing of heels
But Judge often repeals
If promised a lay in the clover
One night on the beach down in Bognor
Recalling my visit to Durham
I thought of Prestatyn
and Winterbourne Abbas Anarchy in the UK
And all of the time spent in Ais Gill
There was a young man from Prestatyn
Who wore on his head a gold paten
When asked to describe
The drinks he'd imbibe
He slurred he will never leave Durham
Tonight I will take her, I swear, (To Durham, where else??)
To Durham, with wind in her hair
We'll get the eight-thirty
Get deep down and dirty
If anyone sees, I don't care ;-)
I've got to leave old Durham town
Opp north is getting me down
I'll head West-South-West
Wearing naught but a vest
And arm bands in case that I drown
While heading t'wards Stratford-on-Avon
, that well-known cultural haven
I stopped off in Warwick
To meet poor old Yorick (oblig., and thank you)
And paused for a pint in "The Raven".
There once was a writer called Poe
Who found it so hard to say "No"
His stutter got worse
Then he'd start to curse
He still wrote classic prose, though.
Oops, add a 'some' in after wrote...
He still wrote some classic prose, though.
Will Smith saves the world (yet again)
His heroics will drive us insane
Does no-one but me unfinished rhetorical question alert!
Eschew going to see
Bloody "Men in Black III"? What a pain!
I once stopped in Bangkok for the night
But left back to Durham with next flight (A short stay....)
Landed at Luton as you would
Put a new suit on [Fiddler] Is that the one-syllable pronunciation of Durham?
Like me it was a little too tight. (having to squeeze the extra syllable in to make it scan)
I've been staying oop north for two weeks
To study some birds with two beaks
Whilst quite advantageous
I find it outrageous
The language the two-beaked birds speaks ...a foul language not worthy to be published, not even here!
A chick may say no, meaning yes
But heed caution, nevertheless
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