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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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The men in nice frocks
With cross-gartered socks
Think nothing of mimicking Mahler ...taking the second of the 2 rhyming options
There was a great cat called Sylvester
'pon whose skin monstrous boils did fester
This great suppuration
-- viscous, pustuled libation --
Was caused by a visit to Chester.
A big killer whale named George
Whose fav'rite game was Cheddar Gorge
While eating some krill
said "this makes me ill"
'And causes my bowel to engorge' ...assuming whales *have* bowels. Even if they don't, at least I ended the damn thing *pats self on back*
To start with I need to point out
My left foot is swollen with gout
To astonishing size
It might win a prize
- A year's worth of claret and stout. ouch!
A sinister beast is the spider (pen) Ouch indeed. :-)
She's got miles of thick rope coiled inside her
So best to ensnare
little beasts in her lair
Replacing a health care provider
My horny Aunt Heather once said:
I'd rather be single than wed
But don't push your luck
Or a railway truck
Or soon you will wish you were dead
oops -
There was a young man from Okehampton (...back to a more traditional opening)
Who made the front page when he camped on unfinished sentence alert
the M25 Everyone should be alert. The country needs lerts.
by Chalfont St Giles. Mmmm, tough leave Rosie!
with (wait for it) Lucinda Lambton. (Snodders) Can't see the problem. Anything ending in -ive would do.
There once was a man writing verse , . [Rosie] but it had to scan with your short line 3!
All rhymes that he knew were perverse
To the innocent ear
They sounded quite queer
But seemed quite straight-laced in reverse
The mysteries of quantum mechanics (Snodders) Well, it's got 5 sillybubbles, which is about par. Don't want to start a fight, BTW. Yes, I do. :-)
Drove Einstein himself into panics
Cause he knew… but we don’t
That some particles won't
Listen to tunes by the "Manics"
Said Ringo, "I know what to do!"
In addition to counting 'One, Two!'
'These drums I will thrash'
And pocket the cash [Rosie] OK ok, it looked hard anyway!
And read Thomas the Tank Engine too.
Late last night, I lay in my bed
As a nightmare flew over my head
Who will it frighten? Well, grab me by the incubus
I felt myself tighten
'Calm Down Dear' the white haired man said .Everyone a Winner
I hear Nancy is throwing out Sven
They're all just the same. Bloody men!
Their cock's rule their heads!
Just screw – without threads,
They just don't understand us at all, these wo-men.
For breakfast I had two boiled eggs
To steady my long, wobbly legs
Unfortunate-ly [Software - you takin' the p*ss?]
Twenty cups of green tea
have reduced my digestion to dregs. (Chalky) W.S.Gilbert lives!
Whilst list'ning to the Mika-do
My cake mix flopped - needs thicker dough. (Bigsmith) I'll get you for this, you bastard. :-)
So I added some flour
And in just half an hour
My gateau was ready to go.
While practising scales on the 'cello (Snods/Raak) Blimey, that was quick. Have you got your own domestic blast furnace, or something?
In the basement of Bertha's Bordello
Strange sounds from above
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