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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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And where's my click wand?
(of which I am fond)
. My Recycle Bin - raided by tramps!
Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear
My undies have washed o'er the weir
And now they've got tangled
in a device so new-fangled
that provides endless glasses of beer.
Tim has got through to the quarters
Will there be an opponent he slaughters? ...ever? Nope, do it the hard way please!
Perhaps it's Sir Cliff
(He with the quiff)
And a penchant for railway porters
I have a confession to make
The prospect of which makes me quake What can this be?
I'm really your mother
'Tho I look like your brother
and these 38D's are quite fake.
[C, R, R, S, K] Disturbing. Oh well. Moving quickly on...
Why can't we have kippers for tea?
Freshly plucked direct from the sea?
Paint them brown (BFK) (BFK = Brown For Kippers, a standard colouring ingredient.)
Serve with bread on a tray
Don't hog them - leave plenty for me!
A rumour is going around
That Dubya said something profound
It's just propaganda
But it does make you wonder
If his feet are almost on the ground... Nah...
There once was one Linesman too much,
Who cried when the ball was in touch
The hue that ensued,
Led to language quite rude
Thankfully, spoken in Dutch
Despite having four hours to spare
Before their flight took to the air
They still turned up late
, Got stopped at the gate,
Though no-one really seems to care Mercy!
Once upon a time in the west,
A cowpoke was washing his vest
He used best manure
Which he'd always procure
From The Man With Bullshit On His Chest [a.k.a. Clint Eastwood]
You really must make up your mind
Before I grab at your behind
Or other protrusions
I might leave contusions
You see, I'm not that refined.
A chicken, when lacking a head [C,D,S,R,R] Bravo: one of the best for a while!
Is likely to hop 'til it's dead eeuww but true! [Tuj] thanks :-) they was good wasn't they?
which proves that its brain
while beginning to drain
Is thinking of skipping instead
I'm trying to learn all my lines
Err...prompt!
And in danger of incurring fines
The thespians art
Of stifling a fart Sorrysorrysorry
From the hole out of which the sun shines
"Please fondle my buttocks," he said
"Then slap them with fresh soda bread"
But instead, I grabbed hard
and rubbed them with lard!
And watched as he slid out the bed!
A suitcase contains many things So that's what you all get up to, is it?
Like toilet rolls, butter and springs
But you'd best leave it locked
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