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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Rosie
in a device so new-fangled
Software
that provides endless glasses of beer.
Angus Prune
Tim has got through to the quarters
Tuj
Will there
be
an opponent he slaughters?
...ever? Nope, do it the hard way please!
Darren
Perhaps it's Sir Cliff
Software
(He with the quiff)
plump
And a penchant for railway porters
Chalky
I have a confession to make
Rosie
The prospect of which makes me quake
What can this be?
Raak
I'm really your mother
Software
'Tho I look like your brother
Kim
and these 38D's are quite fake.
penelope
[C, R, R, S, K] Disturbing. Oh well. Moving quickly on...
Why can't we have kippers for tea?
Software
Freshly plucked direct from the sea?
Raak
Paint them brown (BFK)
(BFK = Brown For Kippers, a standard colouring ingredient.)
Bigsmith
Serve with bread on a tray
Angus Prune
Don't hog them - leave plenty for me!
Angus Prune
And
ZK
A rumour is going around
CdM
That Dubya said something profound
Rosie
It's just propaganda
Snodgrass
But it does make you wonder
Tuj
If his feet are
almost
on the ground...
Nah...
Fiddler
There once was one Linesman too much,
Bigsmith
Who cried when the ball was in touch
LotUS
The hue that ensued,
Breadmaster
Led to language quite rude
Software
Thankfully, spoken in Dutch
Chalky
Despite having four hours to spare
Deek
Before their flight took to the air
Bigsmith
They
still
turned up late
Uncle Korky
, Got stopped at the gate,
Tuj
Though no-one really seems to care
Mercy!
Deek
Once upon a time in the west,
Breadmaster
A cowpoke was washing his vest
Raak
He used best manure
Uncle Korky
Which he'd always procure
Chalky
From
The Man With Bullshit On His Chest
[a.k.a. Clint Eastwood]
Chalky
You really must make up your mind
Darren
Before I grab at your behind
Software
Or other protrusions
Raak
I might leave contusions
Rosie
You see, I'm not that refined.
Tuj
A chicken, when lacking a head
[C,D,S,R,R] Bravo: one of the best for a while!
Chalky
Is likely to hop 'til it's dead
eeuww but true!
[Tuj] thanks :-) they was good wasn't they?
Rosie
which proves that its brain
Boser
while beginning to drain
penelope
Is thinking of skipping instead
Breadmaster
I'm trying to learn all my lines
Kim
Err...prompt!
Snodgrass
And in danger of incurring fines
Software
The thespians art
penelope
Of stifling a fart
Sorrysorrysorry
Darren
From the hole out of which the sun shines
Tuj
"Please fondle my buttocks," he said
Chalky
"Then slap them with fresh soda bread"
Darren
But instead, I grabbed hard
widey
and rubbed them with lard!
Snodgrass
And watched as he slid out the bed!
Align
Darren
A suitcase contains many things
So that's what you all get up to, is it?
Deek
Like toilet rolls, butter and springs
Kim
But you'd best leave it locked
widey
and not at half cocked!
KH
Just see what the chambermaid brings.
Rosie
There was a young lass from Jakarta
Snodgrass
Took a pint of good gin just to start her
Apologies, oblig!
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