Including one pint and a giant Dram. (... Cheers all!)

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He sure wasn't tidy or neat [Marc - did you mean 'suit' I wonder?]

...sure KH, it was that huge Dram causing my keyboard to slip... sorry ;-)
...then maybe you would like to rhyme otherwise?
It seemed as he’d slept in his suit
He sure wasn't tidy nor cute

With a whack from his oversized feet / With a jig on his badly tuned flute

P.S. antiknees is ashamed of his unemboldened text. he blames ignorance.

Antiknees is forgiven...

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...this time
"Look here" he said, with a grin

His camera was bright [antiknees] For help with your bold quest, look here: http://mustela.phyast.pitt.edu/basichtml.html

Please watch how I’ve trained my fifth Limb! …he took the next flight to Berlin…?

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"It's my G-string!" she thought loadsa rhymes 'ere... take your pick!

Cause her chin had been formed kind of sharp(...by squeezing the fiddle)

DAMMIT. Why can't people come up with things that even *approximately* rhyme and scan? I seem to remember that "Lerwick" rhymes with words like "Eric" and "hysteric", not to mention place names like "Berwick". "Slippery Dick" is never going to be a rhyme, not even if you put the stress completely wrongly on the "er" of "slippery".

Sorry about the rant, but I just also read the truly terrible ending by one or two Wideys to the previous one, in which again all scansion, rhyme and sense were completely lost... You can get away with perhaps mildly stretching *one* of rhyme, scansion, sense and stresses on the correct syllable of the word, but not more than that - for instance, you can't ask for the stress on the completely wrong syllable of "slippery" to make a rhyme *and* interpolate an extra syllable into the rhyme (an "-erick" sound with an "-eridick") at the same time, especially not while already having to stress the completely wrong word earlier in the line (in this case the "and"). It just doesn't make sense. Not only is Willie Rushton swirling in his urn, the rest of the ISIHAC team would be doing the same or turning in their graves if they were in fact dead.

Rant ends.

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Fiddler - There once was a party in Lerwick and let's try again properly this time...

Where I started to go quite hysteric adding a second line that actually works...

erm, I hate to break in here, especially since I completely agree with JLE, but Lerwick is pronounced Ler-wik, not Lerrik. Sorry and all that.

It hit some bird's arse (Watty) Yep, it's Lur-wick. But JLE is dead right. Some of this stuff is truly awful, considering that this site is not a chatroom for spotty herberts. You can't be witty all the time, but at least you can play in tune, so to speak. Nnnnngh!

Obviously there are as many opinions of what are correct (wittiest or most exact or what?) Limerick rhyme and meter as there are contributors to this marvellous site. Let’s all face this and let us continue to do our very best in our mutual efforts to have fun and to, eventually, create the most perfect Limerick that has ever been seen!
There once was a party in Lerwick
Where things started go quite hysteric
I threw a full glass
It hit some bird's arse
All night then her bottom I’d to lick
Sorry to interrupt your harsh mood but anyway…

...my humble effort to give the 'Lerwick'-one a happy ending is way out of tune!

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Let him without wit cast first line, http://www.ajokes.com/jokes/845.html

The lack of wit can be a sign Let's not descend into more scansion wars. The way I see it is, if you're getting annoyed by one game, then just play another instead. That's what I do these days.

With a nice butter'd scone ;-) - I'm on the fence about this one. Scansion wars definitely suck, but although there are a lot of opinions about what makes a good limerick, that doesn't mean there is no convergence, and that all conventions can safely be ignored. IMO, a good limerick is a successful interplay between form, coherence and humour - it's not necessary for all to be perfect and sometimes the one or the other takes precedence, but if all three are weak, why bother? And while it's true players can just look the other way for a while if the quality descends below their personal threshold, sometimes that means witty people don't bother to post any more and the enjoyment of the whole community can degrade a bit.