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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Please wait, a new hanger I’ll bring.
She once was so sweet I’ve been told
Which made her quite sticky to hold
The more that I licked,
The more that she kicked
And she bucked and she squirmed and she rolled. Mine's the mac, please.
The day I dug up an old jar
I found I was richer by far
When I rubbed it, a genie
Appeared with a weenie for our U.S. readers
All covered in feathers and tar
“Oh gosh what is this?” said my wife,
My draw-ers with kittens are rife!
“So I’m off to the store,”
To get rid of some more!
I said: "It'd be quicker by knife!" door...
The pride of all London's at stake
All based on a common mistake:
"The Olympics make money"
And "Ben Elton's funny"
And the system of transport will break.
She thought for a while and then said:
"The voices are back in my head."
She then clobbered Marc [who seems to be fixated by 'she']
(It's the ol' monthly lark!) ducks to avoid the Chalkwhip.
And dragged him back home to her bed. ..where she mended his now swollen head!
There once was a nun from Tibet
Who took an old yak to the vet
The prognosis was grim
They castrated him
Though the yak hasn't been seen to yet.
There once was a miss from Montana
Who wore a most striking bandana
Its colour suggested
Her hair was infested
in a most disagreeable manner.
There once was a man with a big
- I'm sorry! I meant to say brig -
that's a goal, to the wise Jail, Goal, Brig, Prison.
First he lives – then he dies(?) ...my summerhouse is called The Brig cause once there lived an old inmate...
My Brig has a two-masted rig. ...how did we navigate to arrive here…?
He sailed ‘round the world with no stop,
in a boat, he bought from a shop?????
However, a leak [widey] Bold text please
And a worrying squeak
Meant the trip, on the whole, was a flop.
Keep it simple, it seems to work well
Said a greybeard who lived in a dell
Just like me and my goat
We’re not rocking the boat
But we're making a terrible smell
The words of this terrible song
Are meaningless, dire, just wrong
If only Jonathon King
The words of this terrible song
Are meaningless, dire, and just wrong
If Jonathon King
carry on...
Had played less with the thing I'm safe saying this with so many police about, eh?
He’d written for leather and thong.
The words of this terrible song
Are meaningless, dire, and wrong
And if Jonathan King
Had played less with his thing
He’d finished it not before long
There once was a Lim’rick Police
Who gave orders to sist and decease
But he came unstuck
His apostrophe
damn - simulpost. After you Darren...
…when hit by a ----(wrooom)--Truck---->
[KH - you were also hit I guess ?]
And the correction brings no real relief.
A frenchman, by name Apostrophe
Had daughters called Fifi and Sophie - assuming he was meant to be "Apostrophe"
Really charming damsels
Loved to kiss their dick-cissels
A sparrow-like bird (Spiza Americana) native to southern Ontario
And a chap by the name of Annan, Kofi
A line of the times
That last one didn't quite work :-) - never mind, tomorrow's another day ...

If questioned, I don't give a damn

What the menu says; just give me spam!
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