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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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But Ricky is just
Earning a crust
Aboard that knackered old boat on the Humber
. . . thought I'd administer a swift but humane killing. Ricky obviously didn't capture imaginations. Moving swiftly on . . .
Emblazoned across the wall
Are the words, "This is nothing at all"
"There is nothing to see"
"If you don't pay a fee"
But fork out and the sight will appall
Nasturtiums are an edible bloom lovely in salads!
Which are currently enjoying a boom
But pansies, they say
Will make you turn gay This is one of those oblig ones, isn't it
And a tulip's a portent of doom.
A great metropolitan man
Alighted the train at East Ham
He walked several miles
Towards Chalfont St Giles
And declared Mrs Trellis a sham
I'm not taking prisoners today
I will eat all who get in my way
"Any chance of a fork?"
I asked of a dork
Then I tucked into him straight-away!
When exposing a snake in the grass
Be careful you act with some class
Otherwise, keep it schtum
By inserting your thumb
And heading it off at the pass

It's painful to make the admission
That your power is from nuclear fission
But it's safer than coal
But on the whole
just leave it to your electrician
Garden sparrows, wrens, finches and tits
Can all be assembled from kits
Using small bits of wire
And an old rubber tyre
And a car engine, taken to bits.
The beauty of avian construction
Is the match of its form to its function
You must get this right
For the things to take flight
Lest they plummet on down to destruction.
The terrible thing about crows
Is that I've got three stuck up my nose
They peck at my eyes
Unbutton my flies
and crap all over my toes
My budgie looks terribly strange
I think it's got some sort of mange
It's purple and green
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