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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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The next one is bad
The fourth one is trad
And this last? Just call it asinine!
Today I must trim all my warts
So I can look good in my shorts
The one on my heel
Is starting to feel
Like the ball from a basketball court.
I come back to England tonight Really! First lot of Fish n' Chips for 4 months! Can't wait!
Proving that I'm not that bright
What's more, I will wear
The pelt of a bear
And thus be a nightmarish sight Sorry to do 3rd and 5th, but this one had lain around for far too long
just an observation - limericks that begin with an 'actual' first-person experience are always tricky to follow . . .
Whenever the clock chimes, I wonder
Which cities I'll ravish and plunder
For at 12.59,
I think its the time,
To steal, pillage and wrent asunder
It's a hundred degrees in the shade
And commuters' tempers are frayed
For instant relief
Penelope Keith
Is free, in the Penny arcade.
When Valéry Giscard d'Estaing
Goes out to buy six petits pains
There's not enough argent
To feed him and his sergeant Pronunciation? What's that then?
Aujourdhui et demain au matin.
My legs have just melted away
With my third hit of acid today
A purple giraffe
Has invaded my gaff
Which I wasn't expecting 'til May
I've married my step-son's third cousin
Tongues are wagging nineteen to the dozen
The consanguintee
(See the family tree)
Did not vote for Anders Fogh Rasmussen
(That's the prime minister of Denmark, as you know.)
If Ricky had've lost that number . . . bbcR2 playing here
We'd be up to our ears in old lumber
But Ricky is just
Earning a crust
Aboard that knackered old boat on the Humber . . . thought I'd administer a swift but humane killing. Ricky obviously didn't capture imaginations. Moving swiftly on . . .
Emblazoned across the wall
Are the words, "This is nothing at all"
"There is nothing to see"
"If you don't pay a fee"
But fork out and the sight will appall
Nasturtiums are an edible bloom lovely in salads!
Which are currently enjoying a boom
But pansies, they say
Will make you turn gay This is one of those oblig ones, isn't it
And a tulip's a portent of doom.
A great metropolitan man
Alighted the train at East Ham
He walked several miles
Towards Chalfont St Giles
And declared Mrs Trellis a sham
I'm not taking prisoners today
I will eat all who get in my way
"Any chance of a fork?"
I asked of a dork
Then I tucked into him straight-away!
When exposing a snake in the grass
Be careful you act with some class
Otherwise, keep it schtum
By inserting your thumb
And heading it off at the pass
It's painful to make the admission
That your power is from nuclear fission
But it's safer than coal
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