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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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But everyone frowns upon that [pen] Come and see how the other half live our lives...
Whilst waiting for water to boil,
after a very long day of toil
We just sit by the fire
Planning soon to retire
To a bath with some lavender oil.
It is better not to discuss
The state of Anne Widdecombe's truss
or John Prescott's pants
or Tony Blair's stance
Or the route of the 43 bus.
'Tis thrice thrice thrice thrice thirty days
Since I last made her eyes go all glazed
When I put the pear
In the orifice where
There's a gap in the midst of her stays
When I go digging in the road
If lucky, sometimes I find a toad (?)
Who teaches me scansion
and limerick tension
But rhyme is too hard to be know'd.
The story of the Piltdown Man
Is hidden unknown in this flan
Just one tiny bite
Turned out to be right
The fact he had no pension plan
”Some day I’ll return!”, said his wife
Said he: "Yeah! Not on your life!"
"You're only an ant"
And your humour is scant
and your farts I could cut with a knife.
There once was a man from East Fife (wife, knife and life all barred)
Where strange prohibitions are rife
But some are allowed!
Like Flogging a crowd??
And banning three words in our strife???
There once was a man in Key West
Who wore a spectacular vest
Sort of bloomy with flowers
arbours and bowers How's the toothy-peg, Rosie?
Which, unwashed, did not smell the best.
There once was a hole in the ground (e.g. http://pineapple.homestead.com/Musa.html)
From which came an unspeakable sound
It sounded a bit
Simulposted, rats. You have just been saved from It went "grbthlkqtrrkpsqwlm"
Like "grbthlkqtrrkpsqwlm", and it
Was uttered with menace profound. ... scary stuff
Chalky - once had to witness the birth
buggeration .... I'll start again
Chalky - I once had to witness the birth
Of triplets from a mum full of mirth!
she pushed and she squirmed
And grimaced and gurned
and she now has a much smaller girth. As one does.
Giving birth is a hard way to diet
as not many mums are compliant
Though they foreplay a lot…..
Shelling a tot
Then eat as to feed a huge Giant hm... I’ll make no remarks, I’ll keep quiet!
There once was a man with a bike,
Who managed the Penge Spud-U-Like
He'd deliver hot tatties
Turn clients into fatties
'Til all of them looked quite alike
I once went to play with an eel
but mistook it for a bull seal
I threw a big ball
on the eel it did fall
Then bounced to the seal – No big deal?
There once was a girl who could drive
The third green using wood number five
But when she started putting
Her partner was tutting
It's a wonder that he's still alive!
I've just spent a cool thousand quid
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord