arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Obligatory Limericks Game
help
When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
arrow_circle_up
Killed off his erection
And put paid to to her hopes for infants
Bravo all above!
An odd-looking cowgirl named Wendy
Had legs that wer 'specially bendy (don't fight it)
Astride a large horse
She performed intercourse
With a cowboy undressed very trendy.
There once was a horse in the nude
Who lived in a field near to Bude
He frolicked all day
In a meadow of hay
Tap dancing all day in good mood. ( "In the Mood"? http://www.budejazzfestival.co.uk/ )
The stompers are grouping in Bude,
The stompers are grouping in Bude,..sorry, my mind was already there...
The things they are doing are lewd
with a muted trombone
and an old mobile 'phone
It's a wonder they've never been sued
I’m off for vacation today
Meaning all of you should say 'Hooray'
Cause we’re free to work hard
With little regard ... just who is writing this lim now? you? me? all of you? we? they?
For what pointy-haired bosses might say.
I've just had a bitch of a day (I'm sorry, but I really have....)
So please, someone, lead me astray
I yearn to be kinky
SLip into something slinky
and bang away on my Bishop, okay!!.
The Bishop looked down and then said:
Just what is that lying in my bed?
The actress replied
"It can't be denied,"
"Now put your mitre back onto your head."
”Your Holiness this is too much!" ...interesting subject...?
"I'm trying to watch Starsky & Hutch"
"Your bishop, you bash it"
"It's mine, it's an asset!"
"Just keep it away from my crutch!"
He raised his finger and said
"This digit is made out of bread"
"If you're sceptical, suck it"
I did, then threw up in a bucket
And that's how I ended up dead. Obligatory really!
She greased him in balm of Gilead
Then nibbled his earlobes indeed
But the cedars of Lebanon "eed"?
Rose 'round them both,(skip beat) tall and strong "But the cedars of Lebanon" ?
To climb them would need all the will 'e 'ad It rhymes. It scans, more or less.
One reason for hiding in cedars
Seems to have escaped Guardian readers ... well rescued Rosie
But the Times' editorial Inviting obvious rhyme
Is more lavatorial hook, line & sinker
With paper so soft, quoting our leaders. ..imagine Tony Blair on the loo…
As a limerick line this isn't particularly good
But who says it has to scan all the time Dude
There once was a sweet little nun Sorry st dog, trying at the best of my ability. What about you?
Gorged herself on a HUGE sticky bun i am just trying, marc.
Her wimple exploded
Her corsets eroded
For penance, ten thousand "Hail Mary's", now run.
This flattery might turn my head
Keep on and my face will turn red ...from choking?
I'd rather you went
To a Chinaman's tent
And screw up all the sheets in his bed Turning heads and screwing, ...it’s not Friday yet!
Last year was the year of the whores ...as the Chinaman said...
I can tell you, that opened some doors
Of brothels, mayhap?
(For some lucky chap)
Who tasted temptation live ne'er before
There once was a girl in Hong Kong
Who rode on her (w)horse all night long ..obligatory...?
When daytime would break,
Her backside would ache
Because she'd been riding all wrong.
What sort of riding was she doing? ...coat time I think...
What sort of verse are you pursuing?
It's not quite a limerick
Never mind, we'll give it a lick
And know good writing we're eschewing.
Cheese is nice but it can smell quite bad....
Like the Black-Belted Stilton I once had…
It walked to my plate
Its blue eyes filled with hate
And said, "You're a terrible cad."
A penguin can make a good pet
Except that it won't see the vet
Appetite voracious Cost you a bomb in fish.
Oh yes, goodness gracious
The shit will cause trouble you bet!
Her penguin loved drinks ‘on the rocks’
And quaffed them, in slippers and socks
He liked, more than most,
Champagne, and would toast
Antarctica! a land he now mocks.
There once was a Boxer named Stu
Who’d swept many floors, quite a few
He polished and scrubbed
So much, he was dubbed
And then swept ‘cross the floor by Baloo http://www.njboxinghof.org/cgi-bin/henryseehof.pl?73
there once was a mailbox quite red
Its owner was someone who said:
"Penny stamps cost a pound,"
"there's inflation around,"
I'll just send an email instead
Sorry! :(
Once a copper with a huge scabby nose
Danced the Tango with a lass with no clothes
Said the lass to the copper,
Treat me nice... but improper,
And I'll lend you my best pantie-hose.
Is it proper to finish and start?
Is it right to set fire to a fart?
Done both in my time
But now, in my prime,
I'll just sit and tuck into this tart
This tart tastes awful you know.
But it's good enough in a face to throw....?
It's messed up my grammar
P-plays havoc w-with my st-stammer
And makes terrible rumblings below.
Give me ALL of your chocolate cake
Or I'll poke out your eyes with this stake
It may sound extreme
That I love cake and cream
And use violence to get what I take.
The charm of the Icelandic sagas
are great but they drive me Banana's
Think of Noggin the Nog
Or Hoggin the Hog? (never ‘eard of ‘im though)
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord