mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game

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The Obligatory Limericks Game

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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...

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'Cos I'm farting in Morse sorry people - Uncle K's fault :-)

So best dash, Dot, in case it should set

They say that it's rude to stare

But I really don't care

Also, I smell

Like the cesspits of Hell

'Cause I bathed in yak's milk for a dare [Darren - that's your second smelly third line!]

I suffer from awful BO

You'll smell it wherever I go [That's my third!]

My pox scabs are rotting [Darren - shame - I was feeding you a third line and we simulposted]

And my groin is hotting [Hint: up]

up by the hour, it's gonna blow!! [rab - hint taken, v subtly done :-)]

I cannot believe it's not butter

is not easy to say with a stutter

So I'll spread it with jam

Or bake it with ham

Or beat it at golf with a putter.

I appear to be missing a ball

Said Adolph Hitler, to us all

I'll take one of Goering's

Cute spherical nose-rings

And clip it to Eva Braun's shawl.

The Onedin Line

I don't like the way that it sounds

When love-making strays out of bounds

And I'm in the next room

On top of a broom

But at least for divorce I have grounds

I'm a hundred and twenty today!

And it's the National Day of Foreplay

So unless I drop dead

Oh dear - taking rudeness to faint new depths...*Don't I deserve head?*

Before I waste slowly away [Don't be coy, pen - I'm sure we were all thinking the same :-)]

Nothing wrong with a bit of bawdiness.

That's not a limerick line, btw

Now bawdiness just ain't my style lies, lies and more lies ;o)

We'll leave that to Chalky and Kayl

They prefer, so it's said,

To say this instead:

"I love how you shunt as I strile" (Have I had Kayl's pronounciation wrong all this time - i took it to rhyme with shale...? No criticism intended, just curious!)

The Line, the Witch and the Wardrobe

[blamelewis] I was never too sure, myself, but decided that Kayl is the only MC player I could think of whose name might rhyme, so I used a bit of limeretic licence. And are you telling me your name isn't pronounced bla-melloo-iss?

It's high time that I wrote a first line

You did a good job - that one's fine!

The next one is bad

The fourth one is trad

And this last? Just call it asinine!

Today I must trim all my warts

So I can look good in my shorts

The one on my heel

Is starting to feel

Like the ball from a basketball court.

I come back to England tonight Really! First lot of Fish n' Chips for 4 months! Can't wait!

Proving that I'm not that bright

What's more, I will wear

The pelt of a bear

And thus be a nightmarish sight Sorry to do 3rd and 5th, but this one had lain around for far too long

just an observation - limericks that begin with an 'actual' first-person experience are always tricky to follow . . .

Whenever the clock chimes, I wonder

Which cities I'll ravish and plunder

For at 12.59,

I think its the time,

To steal, pillage and wrent asunder

It's a hundred degrees in the shade

And commuters' tempers are frayed

For instant relief

Penelope Keith

Is free, in the Penny arcade.
When Valéry Giscard d'Estaing

Goes out to buy six petits pains

There's not enough argent

To feed him and his sergeant Pronunciation? What's that then?

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