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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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He'll get it right next time, mayhap.
Ignore not the rules of scansion
Whether trochees, iambs or dipthong
When being quiet anal
When being quite anal obviously, although quiet anal possibly deserves some examination as a concept
Complaints are morainal (OK, I used Rhymezone to find that one.)
So fill out your lines with aplomb.
A game of Celebrity Shares
Will attract the bulls and the bears
The trading is brisk [a gift of a rhyming opportunity]
But better not risk
All your assets. (But frankly - who cares?)
While walking to work in the rain
I danced as I felt quite insane
[Bifurcating]I felt like Gene Kelly/I jumped in a puddle
(as opposed to George Melly) / found a stranger to cuddle
And sang out THAT well-known refrain / Then suggested acts base and profane [oo-er]
The day you install a new bath
Should be marked by drinking a swift half,
But - beer or bathwater?
Should I drink? Well I oughtta - weren't expecting that eh?
Before I go down the bath path
To make the best beef and veg. stew,
First kill your cow. Then take two
Bushels of sweet potatoes
Fry them on a hotplate, close
The oven, wait, serve, spear and chew - I like the creative scansion going on here!
I once met a young plain-clothes nun
Disguised as Attila The Hun
Yet I (to my shame)
Thought she was on the game
Now Attila the Nun's on the run!
I got caught out today in the rain
With an outcome of very great pain
I was poked in the eye
And was told "Get me dry!"
By the great and irate Michael Caine
I wonder where porcupines sleep?
On cliffs? In a cave? In the deep?
Laying still and supine
(All their quills must align)
Else the prickles will tickle their feet.
Be careful when you knock on doors
Especially in the Azores
You just never know
You'll find on the loo
P'raps Andrea or Jim from The Corrs... some well dodgy rhyming going on there!
Do the light bulbs need changing in here?
Who'll do it? And what's their career?
The task is quite tricky
The end might be sticky
Let's just put it off till next year.
Awww... and I thought someone would pick up on my feed line re: How many (people of a particular walk of life) does it take to change a lightbulb?
Uncle Korky is feeling let down [mea culpa]
And Chalky a bit of a clown
Our lim'ricks lack wit
Our rhyming is crap
So it's good that our scansion is sound
Penance complete! Further self-flagellation not required! :-)
Take a deep breath, and let yourself go
down to London on a very slow
train, that breaks down
In a Devonshire town
Just south of Westward Ho
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