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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Washed down with a dram
Of battery acid or three
In case of emergency, you should
Supply us with cold Yorkshire Pud
A pint of warm ale,
Which we slowly inhale
Though we know it won't so any good

ack! *do* any good... not "so"...

I can spell but my proofreading sucks (drawing inspiration from ineptitude...)
Eggs like a grandmother clucks
Disapprovingly when
are you coming? At ten?
Those white-coated in their trucks.

I remember the very first time
Apologies - previous last line should read "Those white-coated men in their trucks" so much for proof-reading.
Start again
I remember the very first time
I wrote my first limerick line
It began with a word
Writer's block then occurred
A writer cried as he ran past
"The monster that follows is vast"
"So pick up your pen"
"And let me know when"
"It has finished its morning repast"
There was a young lady from Crewe
Who said not 'Good-day' but 'Adieu'
For she went 'fore she came *parka please*
She was never the same
And I wouldn't like that - would you?
The first day of summer is here
And it's made my petunias go queer!
They're drooping right over
My four-leaféd clover
Though I watered them with the best beer
I've been stuck in the office all day
With a pitchfork, a horse and some hay
The resulting output *sidling towards coat rack*
Means there's something afoot...
The Amish have joined the twins Kray.
Whenever I go to the shops
Dow Jones rises but our FTSE drops
One Euro is worth
A fortnight in Perth (Scotland or Australia - you choose...)
Or a ticket to Top of the Pops
The kroner, peseta and lira
Are no use on a trip to Madeira
Not even escudos
(Though they may earn you kudos)
Will buy you a few pints of beer
Enumerative Combinatorics
Read at night, with a big mug of Horlicks,
Is the very best thing
To get back in the swing
And to make you all true alcoholics
A hairy young Vicar from Perth
Should be given a very wide berth
Lest his big hirsute mits
Which are cold - he admits
Be employed to assist giving birth
Again unemployment is down
Since everyone's becoming a clown
simulposted - spooky! for I have a new job as a clown
I perform in the House
Where often I douse unfinished sentence alert..
My wife, when she's in her best gown
I wish I could be a buffoon
And dance by the light of the moon
I would prance like an elf
Casting spells at myself
And play Mahler on the bassoon
A wonderful sight to behold
Is rab (or so I am told)
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord