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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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While they were abed
She sneaked in and read
Diatribes by Nicholas Whitchall

That's not what a hoover is for! (just watched Belleville Rendez-vous)
Er, <hr>
It's supposed to be used on the floor!
That's not what a hoover is for! (just watched Belleville Rendez-vous)
It can suck, it can blow,
*Uses nail scissors on the knot in the loop of the space-time continuum*
That's not what a hoover is for!
It's supposed to be used on the floor!
It can suck, it can blow,
And in case you don't know
Cannot love, but so what? vive l'amour
(sorry for the multipost - it sprang upon me)
The conductor put down his baton
And eyed the bassoon, who had spat on... attacca (unfino sentenza)
the Trumpeters notes...
, the piccolist's stoats,
and the third oboe's dad, Derek Hatton.
[T,PJ,P,R,r] Bravo!
It is not necessarily true,
But this apprroximation will do
That pi is defined
By two hearts entwined
Round Rolf Harris, and a didgeridoo
My hickory dickory dock
Got caught in the old Vicars jock
-strap, quite by chance
As I made an advance
And that's why I'm now in the dock
You'll never get me on a train
I've no courage, no heart, nor no brain [Oz declared]
I’ll just sit here and wait
With the scarecrow as bait
For the witch to come by with her plane.
She felt that her implants escaped,
And became a crusader(caped)
Her rampant enhancement
Improved the advancement
But her rearguard was not so well shaped.
Syntactical tactics like these
Methodologic'ly ease
Lexicographer's tricks
keen semantics
Impractical praxis will squeeze?
There once was a Caveman in Soho,
Who bought Aerosmith's "Honkin' on Bobo",
Then he hid in his cave
(There are a few better rhymes for Soho I'm sure)
For a rock music rave [Lisa] Go on then, now's your chance... :)
And made a wall painting of his Moho...girls!
Last night at the ‘Mad Vicar’s’ Pub,
Known for good spirits and poor grub
I supped on my beer careful to avoid the dreaded pint rhyme.
Then felt rather queer
And went to the Vicar to get a good rub. strange pub indeed?
make sure that you live! (just in case…)
we too oft forget in the daily race
to earn us a crust
Or do what we must
To compete in the dawn-to-dusk race
They framed the U.S. constitution
And box'd the Chinese revolution.....who?
But now, just for gays
They're counting the days
To marriages of dissolution
I've a friend who lives out in Taiwan
Who's a great great grandson of Genghis Khan
His main occupation [an'ymouse] one less 'great' would be great :-)
At Waterloo Station
At the ‘Ladies’ as a standin’ Don Juan. [Chalky] You are right, but for sure he then would have been dead a long time ago, now (really: great great great great ..... grandson) there’s a chance he can still be at service ;-)
The fat ugly Vicar of Brunswick,
Got stuck as he tested his new trick
of sawing in half
Some poor girl in a scarf
and a mouse with a strange nervous tick.
I built the Embankment for drains
but now they've gone and stuck trains
underground, I might add
Cut and cover's quite mad!
It’s time now to restart the brains.
Whenever you meet the grim reaper,
Ask if he knows someone cheaper
For the business of death
As described in Macbeth ...nice topic a sunny Monday morning
Doth cost when the dagger's plunged deeper.
Contingency plans have been made
To protect our stash of lemonade
From life's depredations
And thirsty Alsations
but it's gone, all in vain, I'm afraid.
Clear the decks, light the lights, take a bow! (to rhyme with "how")
And dress as Jack Hargreaves from How
but let's "Out Of Town"
Discard the ball gown
And quote from "Apocalypse Now"
I have heard there’s a ghost in Hyde Park,
Who perpertrates crimes after dark
For instance, it lifts
all the prizes and gifts
and feeds them all to a shark.
Clear the decks, light the lights, take a bow! (to rhyme with "show")
Cause tonight they rehearse the echo show
In the middle they will fiddle (not to rhyme with fiddle!)
Hey, diddle, diddle
At the end, they will shout 'Hello!'.... 'Hello!'
Clear the decks, light the lights, walk the plank
Load the guns, hoist the sails, get a spank
Shout "hello sailor"
To the next passing whaler
Then unload in next port at the sperm bank? (ever heard of sperm whales?)
There once was a whaler from Wales,
Who told many sea-faring tales
About living on blubber
and dressing in rubber (Marc) Ever heard of scansion?
While chopping the tails of the whales [Rosie] maybe we all need a lecture?
There once grew a Rose in this garden
Which, treated too roughly, would harden
With thorns thick and sharp
And a tough pericarp
He'd prickle, till you begged his pardon
The strange things which float in a bath
Do somtimes, make me giggle and laugh
Like my pink rubber duck
And the layer of muck
Simple tracks ‘long our primrose path
The snow is all turning to slush
And spring is approaching, with rush
Now the pollen count soars
And those pro-Winter bores :P
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