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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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And lower the Harston Freem Rate
This technical talk is all greek
It's conventional wisdom I seek
For advice on a hat
Or which breed of cat
Or even the day of the week
  • The best breed of cat is the Moggy
    • I eat four when I feel a bit groggy
    I fry them with cheese Welcome Peneloope.
    After spraying the fleas
    Though I do find that makes them go soggy
    I want sausage, egg, chips and a tea
    That's for a friend, it's salad for me
    I'll have it with spam
    Washed down with a dram
    Of battery acid or three
    In case of emergency, you should
    Supply us with cold Yorkshire Pud
    A pint of warm ale,
    Which we slowly inhale
    Though we know it won't so any good

    ack! *do* any good... not "so"...

    I can spell but my proofreading sucks (drawing inspiration from ineptitude...)
    Eggs like a grandmother clucks
    Disapprovingly when
    are you coming? At ten?
    Those white-coated in their trucks.

    I remember the very first time
    Apologies - previous last line should read "Those white-coated men in their trucks" so much for proof-reading.
    Start again
    I remember the very first time
    I wrote my first limerick line
    It began with a word
    Writer's block then occurred
    A writer cried as he ran past
    "The monster that follows is vast"
    "So pick up your pen"
    "And let me know when"
    "It has finished its morning repast"
    There was a young lady from Crewe
    Who said not 'Good-day' but 'Adieu'
    For she went 'fore she came *parka please*
    She was never the same
    And I wouldn't like that - would you?
    The first day of summer is here
    And it's made my petunias go queer!
    They're drooping right over
    My four-leaféd clover
    Though I watered them with the best beer
    I've been stuck in the office all day
    With a pitchfork, a horse and some hay
    The resulting output *sidling towards coat rack*
    Means there's something afoot...
    The Amish have joined the twins Kray.
    Whenever I go to the shops
    Dow Jones rises but our FTSE drops
    One Euro is worth
    A fortnight in Perth (Scotland or Australia - you choose...)
    Or a ticket to Top of the Pops
    The kroner, peseta and lira
    Are no use on a trip to Madeira
    Not even escudos
    (Though they may earn you kudos)
    Will buy you a few pints of beer
    Enumerative Combinatorics
    Read at night, with a big mug of Horlicks,
    Is the very best thing
    To get back in the swing
    And to make you all true alcoholics
    A hairy young Vicar from Perth
    Should be given a very wide berth
    Lest his big hirsute mits
    Which are cold - he admits
    Be employed to assist giving birth
    Again unemployment is down
    Since everyone's becoming a clown
    simulposted - spooky! for I have a new job as a clown
    I perform in the House
    Where often I douse unfinished sentence alert..
    My wife, when she's in her best gown
    I wish I could be a buffoon
    And dance by the light of the moon
    I would prance like an elf
    Casting spells at myself
    And play Mahler on the bassoon
    A wonderful sight to behold
    Is rab (or so I am told)
    But snorgle, however
    (when clad all in leather)
    Makes poor Uncle Korky feel old I'm just asking for trouble, aren't I?
    [snorgle] Sounds like I owe your source a fiver.

    It seems pen's asking for trouble

    As I'm not quite as old as my double
    aside [rab] Can't bring yourself to write pen is on your own site to make it scan, eh? Why on earth not? ;o)
    But the double I've seen is
    [pen] Um... I was drinking a cup of tea at the time, which threw my scansion into disarray. Obviously.
    Now on The Tweenies invoking dubious rhyme
    And now my double is double bubble
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    Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord