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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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With the Maid of Tralee
And a horrible, slavering beast
'Well, it's not worth the effort,' she said
Whilst putting her husband to bed
"He seldom displays..."
"He usually just lays..."
"There and pretends that he's dead"
The baby is starting to crawl
so far his out in the hall
Reaching five miles an hour
WIth formidable power
Uh-oh - he's just stopped for a bawl
I've cleared a space under the stairs
For magic and other strange wares
Next door to a potion
I've some unknown lotion
That makes my hands covered in hairs
I've got a grenade in my case
So you'd better get out of my face!
Lest the Mad Pineapple
burst it to shrapnel I know it don't quite rhyme.
Sorry but it's a can of MACE! - sorry no one else was going to finish it.
Making sense over scansion and rhyme
Is often a complete waste of time
Cos if the words don't fit
They will in a bit
Hell, using too many syllables isn't a crime!
I've taken to riding a horse
but it's a pain in the bum, of course. Ouch!
But enough fiddle-faddle!
Take those spikes off the sdaddle!
[pen] 'blinkered', shurely?
And bloody well show some remorse!
I once had a wonderful dream
That I was passing a stream possible unfinished sentence alert
Of fine single malt whisky
Without taking the piss. Wee unfinished and dubious sense sentence alert...
Badger, quite drunk, shouted "FLEEM!"
Was that the exhaust that fell off?
I asked of a top hatted toff
He sneered down his nose
Out of which grew a rose
And caused the poor top toff to cough
My feeezer's encrusted with ice
And the pantry is chock full of mice Your feeezer? sounds painful
And as for the breadbin,
as well as the dustbin,
is covered completely with lice!
I have no sense of how to behave
Or indeed the way that I should shave
I have a good strop
and a rub down with a mop
And then I am oiled by my slave.
Adding a line because I was gazumped.
Whilst mowing the lawn in the nude
I was spied by my neighbor, the prude
With shears a-flashing
She came, a-dashing
And chopped off my daffodils, how rude!
On a whim today, I decided
To change sex again," he confided
But male or female?
He pondered by email
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