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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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Software
As she imagined her beau
Breadmaster
With fame, looks, and dough
Rosie
making all their naughty bits mingle.
Disgraceful!
penelope
Why is it that windows can shatter
Software
And why is it women do chatter?
anonymouse
We should blame Billy Gates!
This is an utterly serious matter! Linux may not be perfect either, but there's no big noise when it shatters ;-)
anothernonymouse
And all his rich mates!
Kim
This is an utterly serious matter!
Sorry, couldn't resist.
anonymouse
There are some occasions, I’ve heard
Kim, it's OK. 'twas supposed to be the second line but Software had more well-oiled keys and you are the smartest of us all I guess?
yetanothernonymouse
When someone assumes the absurd
Marc
Like: I’m here – I exist !
Raak
And I'm totally pissed!
Bed-wetter?
So sorry we are for what occurred.
Marc
Sir Leofric and Lady Godiva
Twiki
Well Leofic once tried to swive her
First time medieval literature module has come in useful
Software
But her chastity belt
penelope
Was now was sorely felt
Kim
So he couldn't be a muff diver.
I'll...just...
Kim
....draw a line....
Ringwraith no. 5
The trouble with eating in bed
penelope
Is that bedbugs demand to be fed
Software
And the crumbs in your bum
Chalky
Go all crusty then hum
Blunder
Let’s eat at the Waldorf instead.
Blunder
Her heart was as cold as an ice cube
Marc
And lips turned blue when kissing her left boob
(o)(o)
Snodgrass
But the risk of Frost Bite
Breadmaster
When I clasped her so tight
anonymouse
...think I’ll grease my lips with an anti-frost lube?
anonymouse
in those days when women were chaste,
Chalky
Men's romantic trust was misplaced
penelope
Years spent away on crusades
rush the 'time spent' bit
Raak
Left at home merry maids
[pen] Or just drop the "away"?
widey
who's lust was for thrust and not rust!
ZK
*calling in a "this doesn't rhyme" objection, although the line is v good...
:
... just when things were beginning to look up. Tut.
Last one?
who's lust was for thrust, no time to waste!
anonymouse
I do my poofreading with MS-Word,
B. Gates (Marc really)
This is the best thing I’ve never herd !
Snodgrass
But if you want to Excel
l,
penelope
And to scan and perfectly spell
Software
Don't use spellcheck, use a dictionary instead!
Some of Mr Gates' "suggestions" are laughable.
Kim
I will post no more lines to this site
anonymouse
Cause B Gates are dating me tonight
Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg
But my syntax, I've found,
ZK
Are been messed around
;)
penelope
And my output are turning to sh*te
OK then, it's back to the basics. Now people, pay attention...
There once was a barmaid from Sale
Projoy
Who had lovely big jugs full of ale
Toby
She came to my table
anonymouse
And asked: Are you able…
Bob the dog
And
that
was the end of my tale.
A good-natured nudist from Crew
penelope
Lost his sweater in Birmingham zoo
snorgle
He searched high and low
widey
but what he didn't know
(my last effort did rhyme if you look at the first line, as it always does if you count in time...so yah boo sucks to
ZK
Projoy
[widey] With respect, it didn't. "Chaste" and "rust" just don't rhyme. Feel free to elucidate if you feel they do.
Projoy
Was that it had been et - by a gnu
Chalky
I have a confession to make
Projoy
I just ate a seven-pound cake.
Chalky
I now weigh twelve stone
Dujon
Yet I'm still skin and bone!
anonymouse
cause all that I eat is just fake?
Once the Bishop of Westminster Abbey
Chalky
the metre-maid
The Bishop of Westminster Abbey
Had a scandalous fling with a cabbie
syllable counter
Then His Holiness said:
Projoy
Eat my body, my bread
Projoy
(that should have been in quotes)
Tuj
"Go on, It's not all that flabby
Where is that coat of mine?
Tuj
Projoy
Three amphibrachs: feminine ending.
anonymouse
on hold for a Limerick pending
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