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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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As she imagined her beau
With fame, looks, and dough
making all their naughty bits mingle. Disgraceful!
Why is it that windows can shatter
And why is it women do chatter?
We should blame Billy Gates! This is an utterly serious matter! Linux may not be perfect either, but there's no big noise when it shatters ;-)
And all his rich mates!
This is an utterly serious matter! Sorry, couldn't resist.
There are some occasions, I’ve heard Kim, it's OK. 'twas supposed to be the second line but Software had more well-oiled keys and you are the smartest of us all I guess?
When someone assumes the absurd
Like: I’m here – I exist !
And I'm totally pissed!
So sorry we are for what occurred.
Sir Leofric and Lady Godiva
Well Leofic once tried to swive her First time medieval literature module has come in useful
But her chastity belt
Was now was sorely felt
So he couldn't be a muff diver. I'll...just...
....draw a line....
The trouble with eating in bed
Is that bedbugs demand to be fed
And the crumbs in your bum
Go all crusty then hum
Let’s eat at the Waldorf instead.
Her heart was as cold as an ice cube
And lips turned blue when kissing her left boob (o)(o)
But the risk of Frost Bite
When I clasped her so tight
...think I’ll grease my lips with an anti-frost lube?
in those days when women were chaste,
Men's romantic trust was misplaced
Years spent away on crusades rush the 'time spent' bit
Left at home merry maids [pen] Or just drop the "away"?
who's lust was for thrust and not rust!
*calling in a "this doesn't rhyme" objection, although the line is v good...
... just when things were beginning to look up. Tut.
who's lust was for thrust, no time to waste!
I do my poofreading with MS-Word,
This is the best thing I’ve never herd !
But if you want to Excell,
And to scan and perfectly spell
Don't use spellcheck, use a dictionary instead! Some of Mr Gates' "suggestions" are laughable.
I will post no more lines to this site
Cause B Gates are dating me tonight
Are been messed around ;)
And my output are turning to sh*te OK then, it's back to the basics. Now people, pay attention...
There once was a barmaid from Sale
Who had lovely big jugs full of ale
She came to my table
And asked: Are you able…
And that was the end of my tale.
A good-natured nudist from Crew
Lost his sweater in Birmingham zoo
He searched high and low
but what he didn't know (my last effort did rhyme if you look at the first line, as it always does if you count in time...so yah boo sucks to ZK
[widey] With respect, it didn't. "Chaste" and "rust" just don't rhyme. Feel free to elucidate if you feel they do.
Was that it had been et - by a gnu
I have a confession to make
I just ate a seven-pound cake.
I now weigh twelve stone
Yet I'm still skin and bone!
cause all that I eat is just fake?
Once the Bishop of Westminster Abbey
the metre-maid
The Bishop of Westminster Abbey
Had a scandalous fling with a cabbie
Then His Holiness said:
Eat my body, my bread
(that should have been in quotes)
"Go on, It's not all that flabby Where is that coat of mine?
Three amphibrachs: feminine ending.
on hold for a Limerick pending
judicious deployment (Projoy) There's me amphibrachs, matey; where are yours? :-)
delicious enjoyment..my favorite amphibrachs. Cheers all!
[Rosie] - Ensuring avoiding offending
[Rosie] There you go. I've often wondered whether you can only count whole words as feet or whether you can run over the barlines, so to speak. Is the first line above made of three amphibrachs, or a single syllable followed by two dactyls then a trochee? Perhaps there is no answer.
These wierdos are speaking in Greek!
True Britons the baselines must seek! Me neither Greek nor Brit...
Let's talk Anglo-Saxon (Projoy) I think you can run over the barlines, as you say, if the two words are part of a phrase but I think it would be stretching the definition to breaking point to call that first line 3 amphibrachs. One possibly i.e. "amphibrach" but I'm not sure where the stress lies. It's not in my Concise Oxford Dictionary 1964. Too bloody concise, obviously. :-)
Let’s rhyme that with huuh...... Jackson
Now I talk and I look like a freak.
They met at the bar 'Lotus Flower',
At the foot of Pisas leaning tower
She sipped a Martini
He showed her his "weeny"
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