arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Obligatory Limericks Game
help
When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
arrow_circle_up
A bottle of ready-soused hake
A sandwich of spam
A freshly killed lamb
And a herb-stuffed and roasted corncrake.
I've just found a bat in my tea!
But do I play cricket? Not me!
Though I have this box
It's storage for socks
That's quite handy I'm sure you'll agree and now a drum-roll please...............
Wey hey!! Thanks once again Chalkers.
I've just found an owl in my pint!
Can the pussy-cat be far behind?
(tricky) or is it a scene in my mind
Though the grog's made me blind (not such good form.)
And my verse is quite blank you will find-t. There is no word in the English language that rhymes with pint, otherwise I am sure that the great Sir John Betjeman would surely have written about beer in Slough.
I think's there's a man in my garden!
(In the suburbs of Henly in Arden)
Perhaps he's a gnome
I wish he'd go home
'Cause his stance is beginning to harden.
teehee
The Grimblepritz lives in a cave
He does not know how to behave
He once caused a fight
Then used dynamite
Instead of a razor to shave.
The Flubadub rubs on a tub
Which comes from the hub of a sub
But a bop with a mop
And a fop who's a sop
Scrub mud with the grub from the club
blast!
I've just bought a cake in Dundee
I'm taking it home for my tea
But Hamish and Dougal Oblig.?
Have been somewhat more frugal
and boiled up a brew from old-wee (yuk)
Duh-da-da-duhhh
There was a young lady called Annie
Who loved a good old Hootenaney
While taking a dance
She'd rip off her pants
For a doh-si-doh with her Aunt Fanny.
Now, fanny may mean many things
For Yank and Brit different bell rings
The way that it parses
In the US it's arses
But whichever it is, it mings.sorry girls, don't mean it really, it just rhymed and made me laugh
There once was a Turtle named Walter
Who attended the Conference of Yalta Very long-lived, turtles, so probably still alive. But then, so am I. :-)
with wit and with charm
And the twist of an arm
He succeeded in annexing Malta.
all above] BRAVO !
I'll second that
'Tis a while since I posted a line
- been busy stealing the fog from the Tyne
So why-aye, alreet
man, leave us the sleet (Proj)You bin read'n' Viz again?
So we've got a reason to bitch and whine.♣
ÕÒÞ§¡ I forgot to add the hard return. ♣
There once was this fellow from Lund
who embezzled his firm's pension fund
He put large amounts
Into offshore accounts oblig.
And claimed it was the lottery he'ed just won'ed
plump] OUCH!
My offshore account on Madeira
Is filled to the rafters with Lira
The int'rest is high
I'm not quite sure why
Now I fear the pursuit of Megaera.
A kidney that's doubled in size
May give you a giant surprise,
If you tighten your belt
The squeeze will be felt
Even after we’ve closed our flies.
There once was a farmer named George,
that was supposed to be the start of the next piece of art..... (how is that accomplished....? maybe a little sweet person can tell me one day?)
I'm not a sweet little person but I'll tell you today. Follow this link ...
http://mustela.phyast.pitt.edu/basichtml.html
To be fair to the Spanish Armada
They just needed to sail a bit harder
For the atlantic drift (its true i watched a tellie program an all)
May have tightened their rift
Gee... thx Chalky I think I’ve got it! And they turned home again and got nada…
There was once a farmer named George
Whose cow,(name of Daisy), would gorge
On the best golden wheat
Then kick George in the seat
So he fit her custom shoes in his forge
It's just ten and six in this style
Tho' not many sold for a while
But if Sir likes it tighter
Or pinker, or whiter
Our surgeon is quite versatile.
"I shall now make a lat'ral incision
then a transversal cut with precision
Then carefully ... oooops
I delve in the forests at night.
In search of the rare woodland sprite
Is it here? Is it there?
I don't really care
The pub's open,I'm off, nighty-night!
Sagacity, some of the time, ...
can display itself as a good rhyme
However, beware!
For knowledge is ne'er
That Projoy committed a crime
When screwing make sure to turn right
While gripping the screwdriver tight
When banging a nail
You are sure not to fail
Provided you do it at night.
The truth is, your honour, I'm mad
Which is why, in this kumquat I'm clad
So do, please, acquit me
You see, it don't fit me
It needs taking in just a tad.
I’m so glad that we made it tonight,
Although, to be fair, it weren't right
We're both dressed in lace
There's jam on your face
And my trousers are really too tight
It hasn't upset me at all
That autumn is also called fall
After fall winter raises
No prospect of daisies
And back to the start of it all.
I can see in my payslip today
That tonite’ we’ll have stone soup with hay
But when I were a lad
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord