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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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But not on her bum
Or the back of her tongue
Lest you suffer an early demise!
Reportedly, I have been shot
That's the press for you, is it not? Unless it's true, of course.
The news story stated
That I'd bifurcated
That Raak's implicated
after Kim: in a complex and intricate plot
after Twiki: I'd ne'er bifurcated 'till now
But in the future I will, that I vow
Till I chanced upon this magic cow bifurcating, natch
I'll split an' I'll splice / Her twink-er-ling udders [bifurcating with a vengeance]
I'll chop and I'll dice / Quite gave me the shudders
Re-uniting? No way.../But her double cream's good...
I'll allow
I sat on the barstool, confused
Which way round the Med had I cruised?
my head swum with gin
And a hellish loud din
Why, oh why, had I never refused?
In order to lose seven stone
I gave our pet dog my thigh bone
And my head to the cat
who was sprawled on the mat
Now I'm lighter but can't use the phone
I broke my New Year's reolution
I broke my New Year's resolution
And failed to give up prostitution
It's a lucrative game
For a pantomime dame
And does wonders for the constitution - accent on the "the". Sorry but I don't know how to draw the line (in html).
B'smith - nice one ... a simple < hr > without the spaces does the trick :-)
When I go to Luton I take
A bottle of ready-soused hake
A sandwich of spam
A freshly killed lamb
And a herb-stuffed and roasted corncrake.
I've just found a bat in my tea!
But do I play cricket? Not me!
Though I have this box
It's storage for socks
That's quite handy I'm sure you'll agree and now a drum-roll please...............
Wey hey!! Thanks once again Chalkers.
I've just found an owl in my pint!
Can the pussy-cat be far behind?
(tricky) or is it a scene in my mind
Though the grog's made me blind (not such good form.)
And my verse is quite blank you will find-t. There is no word in the English language that rhymes with pint, otherwise I am sure that the great Sir John Betjeman would surely have written about beer in Slough.
I think's there's a man in my garden!
(In the suburbs of Henly in Arden)
Perhaps he's a gnome
I wish he'd go home
'Cause his stance is beginning to harden.
teehee
The Grimblepritz lives in a cave
He does not know how to behave
He once caused a fight
Then used dynamite
Instead of a razor to shave.
The Flubadub rubs on a tub
Which comes from the hub of a sub
But a bop with a mop
And a fop who's a sop
Scrub mud with the grub from the club
blast!
I've just bought a cake in Dundee
I'm taking it home for my tea
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord