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The Obligatory Limericks Game
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When the Crescenters arrive at Rab...
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And though it be brief, 'tis not pretty
For the tale's one of woe
As these ditties go
'cos I support Birmingham City.
It was in Scotland I seem to remember
That I had begun to dismember
A turtle called Pete
I needed to eat
Since breakfast was served last September
As the Old Year came to an end
And my brain cells all went round the bend
I said "Happy Hogmanay!"
And saw out the day
Passed out, on the floor, with a friend
It's still not New Year in Caracas (as I write)
And the natives are causing a fracas pronunciation wild...
For they love Hogmanay
But would get blown away
If they used fireworks as maracas
Among my new year's resolutions
I shall try to refine my ablutions
I shall shave every day Sorry, Chalky - nowt personal!
For it's so distingué
'mongst those whom "I'mSorryIHaven'tAClue" shuns.
I once had a donkey to lunch
With a sigh he started to munch
"oh, this lettuce is limp"
"oh, this lettuce is limp"
"And I don't like the shrimp"
so from now on we only do brunch!
A Happy New Year to you all
In particular those who're named Paul
and Kathys as well,
And Simon, and Nell
In fact to the entire roll call.
I've been dining on old tangerines
In the company of two ethereal queens
We avoided the mints
but don't those queens mince!
No wonder they quit the Marines....
I've found, with a couple of kippers,
I can manage without pipe and slippers
For, when smoked on the fire, (Are kippers already smoked? Does it matter?)
and wrapped up in barbwire
You can't beat a couple of strippers.
There once was a herring named Barb,
Who looked foolish attired in such garb
As a bright crimson mac
of polymerised cack (Thrax) Jayne Mansfield could've dealt with herrings, but those F****** LOBSTERS!
Imported from deepest Punjab.
A Hippo has been found on Mars
With a beagle that fell from the stars
And its furtive silence
Gave dramatic Licence Rosie, you're not still on lobster duty are you? I'd have thought that after all your long years of faithful service you might get a prmotion to a slightly better job - perhaps involving Julia Roberts' bottom and grey squirrels.
To ad men peddling cars.
As God is my witness, I swear
I never did that, anywhere
Unless you have proof
Of that night on the roof
of my waywardly yoof (Thrax) You know where you are with lobsters. Grey squirrels? BASTARDS!
When I simply had nothing to wear I feel that works whichever of the simulposts you read!
It simply defies rhyme and reason
At the end of the holiday season
To buy Wizard of Oz
[The Songbook] because
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